Tag: emotional health

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

Naming What You Need Before the Season Starts

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Naming What You Need Before the Season Starts

Naming What You Need Before the Season Starts

Every season has its own demands whether they are school schedules, holiday gatherings, work deadlines, family changes. But too often, we enter new seasons without asking ourselves the most important question:

“What do I actually need to feel grounded, healthy, and at peace during this time?”

If we skip this step, we can find ourselves running on empty before the season has even truly begun. Naming your needs in advance is not selfish. It’s wise stewardship of your energy, relationships, and calling.

1. Pause Before You Jump In

Before saying “yes” to every commitment or falling into last year’s patterns, take a breath. Literally. Slow down enough to notice what’s stirring in you.

Pray: “Lord, show me what will nourish me in this season, and what I can release.”

2. Identify Your Emotional Needs

Think about what helps you feel safe, loved, and understood. Maybe it’s more quiet mornings, more connection with safe people, or more boundaries with those who drain you.

Ask yourself:

  • What emotions do I want to feel more of?

  • What emotions do I want to guard against?

  • Who helps me feel more like myself?

3. Name Your Physical and Practical Needs

Your body is not separate from your spiritual health. Consider:

  • How much rest do I realistically need?

  • What foods help me feel energized?

  • Do I need to adjust my work or home routines?

  • What activities restore me?

4. Clarify Your Relational Needs

Seasons often stir up family expectations, social obligations, and relationship dynamics. Be honest:

  • Do I need more quality time with my spouse or children?

  • Do I need distance from certain relationships right now?

  • Do I need help asking for support?

5. Write It Down

A need that stays in your head is easier to ignore. A need written down is harder to forget. Create a simple list or journal entry called “What I Need This Season.” Put it somewhere you’ll see it.

6. Communicate With Grace

Once you’ve named your needs, share them with the people closest to you. Not everyone will understand, but the right people will honor them and you.

You might say:

  • “I’m focusing on more rest this month, so I’ll need to leave events earlier.”

  • “I’m setting aside Sunday afternoons as quiet time so I can be more present during the week.”

7. Revisit and Adjust

Needs can shift as a season unfolds. Check in with yourself weekly: “Am I honoring what I said I needed? Has anything changed?”

💛 Gentle Reminder

God created you with limits. Naming your needs is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of humility and wisdom. You are not called to burn yourself out for the sake of a season. You are called to walk in step with the Spirit, who will lead you into rhythms of grace.

Scripture to Carry:
“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” — Philippians 4:5

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Understanding Unresolved Trauma

Brandi C

Understanding Unresolved Trauma

Understanding Unresolved Trauma: Naming the Wound, Beginning the Healing

Trauma has a way of settling into the hidden corners of our hearts, often unnoticed but deeply impactful. It doesn’t always come from one big, catastrophic event. Sometimes, it’s the accumulation of smaller wounds—a childhood marked by emotional neglect, a betrayal by someone we trusted, the loss of a loved one, or even a time in life when we felt completely unseen or unheard. These moments—when left unspoken and unhealed—become unresolved trauma.

As therapists and believers, we know that healing begins with awareness. Naming your trauma is not about blaming others or staying stuck in the past. It’s about understanding how certain experiences have shaped your worldview, your reactions, and even your relationships. Unresolved trauma affects how you view yourself, how safe you feel in the world, and how you respond to stress or conflict.

Patterns

You may find yourself stuck in patterns—shutting down when conversations get too deep, avoiding vulnerability, or feeling overwhelmed by things others seem to manage with ease. You may not even realize your body is keeping score—tight shoulders, frequent headaches, digestive issues, insomnia, or chronic anxiety can all be connected to trauma that hasn’t been processed.

Here’s the beautiful truth: God is not afraid of your broken places. In fact, He is the Healer who binds up the wounds we’re too afraid to look at. Psalm 147:3 tells us, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” God doesn’t ask us to hide our pain—He invites us to bring it to Him.

At Circle of Hope Counseling Services, we walk with you through this sacred process of healing. Therapy provides a safe, non-judgmental space where your story is held with compassion. Together, we’ll explore the roots of your pain, identify how it’s showing up in your present, and create a personalized plan for moving forward.

Healing from unresolved trauma takes time. It requires courage. But every small step is an act of reclaiming your story. You are not weak for struggling. You are strong for surviving. And now, you are brave for choosing to heal.

Practical Tips for Healing Unresolved Trauma:

  • Name your story: Write out your memories or journal your emotions. Giving your trauma language is a powerful first step.

  • Seek professional help: Trauma is complex. A licensed therapist can guide you through your healing process with care and expertise.

  • Stay connected spiritually: Spend time in prayer, Scripture, or worship. God is a faithful companion in every step of your healing.

  • Create safe routines: Consistency and predictability can help bring a sense of calm to a body and mind shaped by trauma.

Faith-Based Encouragement:

Remember, trauma may explain how you got here, but it doesn’t get to define where you go next. God’s plan is for wholeness and peace—not perfection, but presence. Jesus loves you, deeply and your healing matters.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Matching Your Emotions With Your Feelings

Brandi C

Matching Your Emotions With Your Feelings

Matching Your Emotions With Your Feelings

Understanding and expressing emotions correctly is an essential skill, but it can be challenging. Have you ever felt sad but expressed anger instead? Or been scared but appeared frustrated? Learning to match your emotions with your feelings—and making sure your facial expressions align—can take practice, but it’s an important step in emotional intelligence.

The Difference Between Emotions and Feelings

Emotions are automatic, physiological responses to situations—like fear, sadness, or joy. Feelings, on the other hand, are the interpretations of those emotions based on our thoughts and experiences. While emotions happen in the body, feelings happen in the mind.

For example, if someone disappoints you, your initial emotional response might be sadness. However, if you don’t process that sadness, it might manifest as frustration or anger. This disconnect between your internal emotions and external expressions can cause confusion for both yourself and those around you.

Why Do We Mask Emotions?

Anger is often referred to as a secondary emotion because it usually stems from underlying feelings of fear, sadness, or hurt. If a person feels threatened, powerless, or vulnerable, their instinctive reaction might be to express anger instead of fear. Similarly, deep sadness might come across as irritability or withdrawal.

This masking happens for several reasons:

  • Social conditioning: We are often taught to hide vulnerability and “toughen up.”
  • Self-protection: Expressing anger can feel safer than showing fear or sadness.
  • Lack of awareness: Many people struggle to identify and process their emotions correctly.

The Role of Facial Expressions

Our facial expressions can sometimes betray our true emotions. Someone who is feeling heartbroken might unintentionally appear indifferent or even irritated. This misalignment can lead to misunderstandings, miscommunication, and even strained relationships.

To develop emotional awareness, try these steps:

  1. Pause and identify your emotions. Ask yourself, “What am I truly feeling right now?”
  2. Acknowledge the root cause. Are you feeling angry because you are actually scared or hurt?
  3. Practice mindfulness and self-reflection. Journaling or talking to a trusted person can help you uncover underlying emotions.
  4. Be intentional with facial expressions. If you’re feeling sad, allow your face to reflect that rather than masking it with frustration.
  5. Communicate openly. Let others know how you feel to prevent misunderstandings.

Final Thoughts

Matching your emotions with your feelings is a journey that requires self-awareness and practice. By taking the time to understand what you’re truly feeling and expressing it appropriately, you can foster better relationships, improve communication, and develop a healthier emotional life. Next time you feel anger bubbling up, take a step back and ask yourself—what’s really going on underneath?

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Tips on Building Self-Confidence

Brandi C

Tips on Building Self-Confidence

5 Tips on Building Self-Confidence

Confidence isn’t something you’re born with; it’s something you build. Whether you’re struggling with self-doubt or just need a little boost, here are five simple but powerful ways to grow your self-confidence. Here are Tips on Building Self-Confidence.

1. Look at What You Have Already Achieved

Sometimes, we get so caught up in what we haven’t done that we forget to acknowledge what we have accomplished. Take a moment to reflect on your successes, big or small. Did you finish a challenging project? Overcome a difficult time in your life? Learn a new skill? Reminding yourself of these achievements can help reinforce your belief in your abilities.

2. Set Some Goals

Confidence grows when we have a sense of purpose and direction. Set realistic and achievable goals that push you just outside your comfort zone. Start with small steps—maybe it’s committing to a daily workout, reading a new book, or speaking up in a meeting. As you accomplish these goals, your confidence will naturally increase.

3. Get a Hobby

Doing something you enjoy not only brings happiness but also helps build confidence. Whether it’s painting, playing an instrument, gardening, or even trying a new sport, hobbies provide an opportunity to master new skills and take pride in what you create. Plus, they serve as a great outlet for stress!

4. Talk Yourself Up

Negative self-talk is one of the biggest confidence killers. Instead of focusing on your flaws, practice positive affirmations. Speak to yourself like you would a friend—kindly and encouragingly. Try saying things like, “I am capable,” “I am strong,” or “I can handle this.” Over time, this shift in mindset will help improve how you see yourself.

5. Think of Things You Are Good At

We all have strengths! Maybe you’re a great listener, an excellent cook, or a natural leader. Make a list of things you’re good at and remind yourself of them often. Lean into these strengths and use them as a foundation for building even more confidence.

Building self-confidence is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, effort, and a lot of self-love. Start small, be patient with yourself, and remember—you are already capable of more than you realize! Keep believing in yourself, and your confidence will continue to grow.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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How’s Your Mental Health Today

Brandi C

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How’s Your Mental Health Today?

Life moves fast. Responsibilities pile up, schedules fill, and before we know it, we’ve gone days—or even weeks—without checking in on ourselves. So, let’s pause for a moment: How’s your mental health today?

Take a Deep Breath and Check-In

When was the last time you truly checked in with yourself? Are you feeling overwhelmed, anxious, content, or maybe a little numb? Acknowledging where you’re at is the first step in taking care of yourself.

Signs You Might Need a Mental Health Reset

  • You feel emotionally drained, even after rest.
  • Small tasks feel overwhelming.
  • You’re more irritable or sensitive than usual.
  • You find yourself withdrawing from others.
  • Your thoughts are racing, or you feel disconnected.

If any of these resonate, it’s okay. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and sometimes, we need to hit the reset button.

Ways to Care for Your Mental Health Today

✔ Acknowledge Your Feelings – Give yourself permission to feel whatever is coming up without judgment. ✔ Take a Break – Even five minutes of deep breathing, stretching, or stepping outside can help. ✔ Stay Hydrated & Nourished – Your brain and body need fuel to function well. ✔ Reach Out – Whether it’s a friend, therapist, or support group, connection matters. ✔ Limit Negativity – Take a break from social media or the news if it feels heavy. ✔ Engage in Something Joyful – Listen to music, read, create, or do anything that lifts your spirit.

You Are Not Alone

No matter what today looks like for you, please know that you’re not alone. Your feelings are valid, and your struggles are seen. If your mental health feels like it’s weighing you down, reach out for help—whether to a loved one or a professional. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.

So, let’s check in—how’s your mental health today? And what’s one small thing you can do to take care of yourself right now?

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Emotional Self-Care Tending to Your Heart and Mind

Brandi C

circle of hope counseling services

Emotional Self-Care: Tending to Your Heart and Mind

Life can be overwhelming, and in the midst of caring for everyone else, we often forget to take care of ourselves—especially when it comes to our emotions. Emotional self-care is just as vital as physical self-care. It helps us process feelings, release stress, and nurture our well-being. If you’re feeling drained, here are some simple yet powerful ways to tend to your emotional health. Emotional Self-Care Tending to Your Heart and Mind is also imperative to your overall health.

1. Watch a Funny Movie

Laughter truly is medicine for the soul. Whether it’s a classic comedy, a stand-up special, or a silly sitcom, laughter releases endorphins—the brain’s natural feel-good chemicals. Give yourself permission to escape reality for a bit and enjoy something lighthearted. Your heart will thank you!

2. Express Your Feelings

Holding in emotions can be exhausting. Whether you prefer journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or creating art, finding an outlet to express your emotions is essential. Suppressed emotions don’t disappear; they just build up. Let them out in a healthy way and lighten your emotional load.

3. Smile More

Even when you don’t feel like it, smiling can shift your mood. Research suggests that the simple act of smiling—yes, even a forced smile—can trick your brain into feeling happier. Try it in the mirror, share a smile with a stranger, or reflect on a joyful memory. Small moments of happiness add up!

4. Cry It Out

Crying is not a sign of weakness—it’s a natural and healthy release. Tears help process deep emotions, reduce stress, and even remove toxins from the body. If you feel the tears coming, let them flow. There’s healing in allowing yourself to fully feel and release what’s weighing on your heart.

5. Prioritize Rest and Relaxation

Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your emotional well-being is simply to rest. Whether it’s getting a good night’s sleep, taking a nap, or just pausing for a moment of stillness, your emotions need downtime too. Rest isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.

6. Surround Yourself with Positivity

The people and environments we engage with have a profound impact on our emotions. Seek out supportive, uplifting relationships. Engage in activities that bring joy and peace. If something is draining you, it’s okay to set boundaries and protect your emotional energy.

7. Practice Gratitude

Focusing on what we’re thankful for can shift our perspective and elevate our mood. Try keeping a gratitude journal or simply reflecting on three things you’re grateful for each day. Gratitude helps reframe challenges and reminds us of the beauty in our lives.

Your emotions matter. Taking time to nurture your heart and mind is not selfish—it’s necessary. The more you care for yourself emotionally, the better equipped you’ll be to show up for those around you. So, go ahead—laugh, cry, smile, rest, and express yourself freely. You deserve it!

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Faith Journey

You are Enough

Brandi C

untitled design (1)

You Are Enough

I know it feels like the world can be against you sometimes. The weight of others’ opinions, assumptions, and judgments can be exhausting. But hear me loud and clear: you are enough. You are worthy of love, respect, and all the good things life has to offer.

You do not deserve to be treated as “less than”—not by family, friends, co-workers, or even a stranger having a bad day in a drive-thru. Your worth is not up for debate. You deserve kindness, just as you should extend kindness to others. We are all trying to navigate this life, and we only get one shot at it. Make it count.

People will believe what they want to believe about you. Let them. You cannot control someone else’s thoughts, assumptions, or misunderstandings. What you can control is how you allow those things to affect you. You don’t have to make space for people who tear you down, question your worth, or bring negativity into your life.

Setting boundaries is not just healthy—it’s necessary. Protecting your peace is not selfish; it is self-respect. If that means creating distance from toxic people, do it. If that means cutting them out completely, don’t hesitate. The people who truly care for you will respect your boundaries, not challenge them.

You are not here to prove yourself to anyone. You are here to live, to love, and to embrace the beauty of who you are—without apology. Do not let anyone convince you that you are anything less than enough.

Stand tall. Walk in your worth. And if someone refuses to see it, let them go. You are enough—exactly as you are.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Stop Silent Start Talking

Brandi C

@circle of hope counseling services

Stop Silent, Start Talking: Let’s End the Stigma Around Mental Health

For too long, mental health struggles have been met with silence, shame, and stigma. Stop silent, start talking: Let’s end the stigma around mental health. People suffer in the dark, afraid to speak up, fearing judgment or rejection. But here’s the truth: mental health is just as important as physical health, and it’s time we start talking about it.

When we stay silent, the stigma wins. It keeps people from reaching out, from seeking help, from knowing they are not alone. But when we speak up—when we share our struggles, listen without judgment, and remind each other that it’s okay to not be okay—we break the chains of shame.

Talking about mental health doesn’t mean you have to share every detail of your journey. It can be as simple as checking in on a friend, starting a conversation, or letting someone know you see them and they matter. It can be reminding yourself that needing help is human, not weakness.

If you’re struggling, please know this: You don’t have to suffer in silence. Your feelings are real. Your struggles are valid. Help is available, and you are worthy of it.

And if you’re someone who wants to help end the stigma, start by listening. By being a safe space. By refusing to let shame silence those who need to be heard.

Mental health matters. You matter. Let’s stop the silence and start talking—because together, we can change the conversation.

💛 You are not alone. Let’s break the stigma, one conversation at a time.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Why Am I Feeling Anxious?

Brandi C

@reallygreatsite

Why Am I Feeling Anxious?

So, we am I feeling anxious? Leave comments below for why you are experiencing anxiety. Anxiety has a way of sneaking in, sometimes without warning. One minute, you’re going about your day, and the next, your heart is racing, your thoughts are spiraling, and a sense of unease settles in. But why? Why do we feel anxious, especially when we can’t pinpoint a specific reason?

Anxiety is our body’s built-in alarm system, designed to protect us from danger. The problem? Our brains don’t always distinguish between real threats and perceived ones. Stress, past trauma, exhaustion, or even an upcoming event can trigger the same fight-or-flight response as an actual emergency.

You might be feeling anxious because:

  • You’re overwhelmed. Life’s demands can pile up quickly, making it feel impossible to keep up.
  • You’re carrying unprocessed emotions. Grief, fear, or unresolved trauma can manifest as anxiety.
  • You’re overstimulated. Too much noise, social media, or even caffeine can heighten anxiety levels.
  • Your body is reacting. Lack of sleep, poor nutrition, or hormonal changes can contribute to anxious feelings.
  • You’re fearing the unknown. Uncertainty about the future can trigger anxiety, even if nothing is immediately wrong.

So, what can you do? First, breathe. Ground yourself in the present moment. Acknowledge that your feelings are valid but not always reflective of reality. Talk to someone you trust, journal your thoughts, or engage in an activity that brings you peace.

If anxiety is persistent or overwhelming, seeking professional support can help. You are not weak for feeling this way. You are human. And you are not alone.

Anxiety may whisper fear, but hope speaks louder. Keep going.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Daily Inspiration by Corrie Ten Boom

Faith Journey

Let Them by Cassie Phillips

Brandi C

let them

Let Them by Cassie Phillips

If they want to choose something over you, LET THEM.

If they want to go weeks without talking to you, LET THEM.

If they are okay with never seeing you, LET THEM.

If they are okay with always putting themselves first, LET THEM.

If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, LET THEM.

If they want to follow the crowd, LET THEM.

If they want to judge or misunderstand you, LET THEM.

If they act like they can live without you, LET THEM.

If they want to walk out of  your life and leave, hold the door open, AND LET THEM.

Let them lose you. You were never theirs, because you were always your own.

So let them.

Let them show you who they truly are, not tell you.

Let them prove how worthy they are of your time.

Let them earn your forgiveness.

Let them call you to talk about ordinary things.

Let them take you out on a Thursday.

Let them talk about anything and everything just because it’s you they are talking to.

Let them have a safe place in you.

Let them see the heart in you that didn’t harden.

Let them love you.

Author: Cassie Phillips

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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What is and is Not in My Control

Brandi C

What is and is Not in My Control

What is and is Not in My Control

What is and is Not in My Control. I am a work in progress. Without hesitation, I can tell you that trying to control everything is 99.9% of my problem. Well, that and lack of trusting anyone…maybe that goes hand in hand, I don’t know. It’s a problem. I know that, get it, and respect it. There is a problem, and I am it.

What is IN My Control

  • my self-care
    • I get my hair done
    • Massages
    • Tattoos
    • Alone time at night
    • Reading
  • asking for help
    • Reaching out to family
    • Communicating with my husband and being vulnerable
    • Therapy
  • my decision
  • the friends I have
    • I don’t do this one well
  • my actions
    • I have apologized to those I need to
    • Forgiven most people, I need to
    • The Lord has made me HYPER aware
  • my boundaries
    • Hahahahaha
  • my thoughts
    • Oohhh…
  • my attitude
    • Well…
  • my words
    • Uhmmm…
  • what I say
    • Learning how to use them
    • Learning how to RESTRAIN from using them
    • Work in progress

OUT of My Control

  • who likes me
  • past mistakes
  • other’s feelings
  • what others think
  • other’s apologizing to me
  • other’s actions
  • what other people believe
  • weather
  • who loves me
  • other people’s time
  • someone else’s distraction

What is on Your List?

My struggle in the “out of my control” list is who likes me (why does this bother me so badly), past mistakes (I can’t forget), what others think of me, others’ actions, what other people believe, and who loves me. Those are my Achilles heel problems. What is on your list?

 

Quotes

Quote by Mary Katherine Backstrom

Brandi C

Quote by Mary Katherine Backstrom

Quote by Mary Katherine Backstrom

“I love when somebody says about a woman, ‘Oh, she’s too much.  She’s too much for me.”  Too much of what?  Too much of an opinion?  She laughs too loudly?  Stands too tall?  Takes up too much space?  What would be the right amount and not too much?  She’d have to be less.  That’s what you are saying.  You’re saying BE LESS, if she’s too much.  You know what I think?  I think she should not give a f*ck about what you think about her.”  ~ Quote by Mary Katherine Backstrom

All the Feels

Oh, does this stir up so many emotions inside? Throughout my life, I’ve been told a lot of things. I’ve been called too loud, too opinionated, and told I can’t Biblically submit to my husband because I’m too “Type A.” I’ve been told that no one will ever take me seriously because I ask questions, or because my hair is pink (currently purple).

For the last two years, I’ve been told that I’m not a good mom because of these very traits. That I shouldn’t be raising my children. I’ve been told to quiet down, conform, be small, be less than, fit in, don’t make waves, and shut up.

The weight of those words has been heavy, but I’m learning that they don’t define me. They don’t define my worth, my voice, or my purpose. And neither do they define who I am as a mother.

Shrinking

For a while now, I’ve been shrinking back. Staying home, sleeping too much, eating too much, crying, and hiding. I allowed others to walk all over me, spoke to me in ways I would never have tolerated before, and accepted far more than I should have. I’ve been holding back in so many areas of my life.

But it really hit me when I was getting ready to go on a little day trip to see family. For the first time in a while, I did my hair, put on makeup, and chose an outfit that covered almost all of my tattoos. It was something that felt like it “fit” the expectations of what a woman my age should wear—nothing too attention-grabbing. I even put on a pair of shoes that I thought would be seen as acceptable.

When we arrived, I ended up sitting quietly in a corner, smiling as I was supposed to. I spoke when prompted and tried to take up as little space as possible—physically and emotionally.

The funny thing is, the shoes I wore didn’t faze anyone in that room, except for three people. They commented on them, as if they were surprised by the fact that I wasn’t wearing something that felt truly me. I told them I didn’t want to embarrass anyone and that I just wanted to blend in.

But that moment stayed with me. It reminded me that I was trying to shrink myself, to fit in and avoid standing out. The truth is, I didn’t just want to blend—I wanted to hide. But even when I tried to do so, my authenticity couldn’t be ignored. I realized in that moment: I’m not meant to blend. I’m meant to stand tall and embrace who I truly am.

Words of Love and Wisdom

My sister—her face, her love—it’s undeniable. She looked at me and asked, Why would you want to blend in?

We wanted you here for who you are, not for any other reason.

She loves me for me. All of me. The sparkly, glittery, tattooed, purple-haired human that I am.

But standing tall hasn’t always felt safe. When I draw attention to myself, I get the judgmental looks, the cutting words—the ones that don’t lift but tear down. The actions of others have altered the course of my life in ways I never wanted. So, I tried to shrink and make myself small. I want to be present but unseen and to love my people and support them—without taking up space.

But her words have been bouncing around in my head ever since. Then, I heard this quote, and suddenly, everything began to fall into place:

I am NOT too much.
Space? I am ALLOWED to take up space.
I am BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY created.

And these adult bullies—they will not stop me from being who I am. I’ve allowed them to take up too much of my mind, my heart, my confidence. And you know what? Enough is enough.

I Am

Going to have purple hair.

Getting more tattoos.

Going to swear occasionally.

Fluffy.

Amazing.

Enough.

Good.

Great mom.

Excellent Lolli.

AMAZING wife.

Beautiful.

Creative.

Feminine.

Worthy.

I am a child of the King.

Love Yourself

To those reading this—you are all of these things, too! Be bold, be loud, be soft, be quiet—be you. If you want to wear a crop top, do it. Throw on all the glitter, color your hair, have opinions, and love people who see the world differently than you. That’s what we are called to do.

Some of my closest friends are my complete opposites, and guess what? I love that. I learn from them, respect them, and cherish them. No matter your size, age, beliefs, background, or family dynamics—you are worthy of love, and I have no desire to judge you. I’ve felt the weight of judgment far too long myself.

My tribe may be as small as a period at the end of a sentence, but they are faithful and true. We can have deep conversations, disagree, and still love each other fiercely. That’s because we see each other, allow space for one another to exist fully, and celebrate the beauty of being exactly who we are.

Ooooh.

ALL. THE. FEELS.

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Ending the Stigma of Mental Illness

Ending the Stigma of Mental Illness

In Ending the Stigma of Mental Illness, my guest blogger shares her thoughts on this subject. I have a mental disorder that can be crippling at times. When I say crippling, I mean I cannot get myself out of bed. I have thoughts on a continuous loop that should not be there: those days when I don’t call or text. Or even speak to people. Hell, I don’t even come out of my room. When I say I can’t get myself out of bed, I mean, I literally will stay in it for days. I will only leave to go to the bathroom or to eat.

The “Happy” Place

There are also days when I am “happy”; these are the days when I can get myself into trouble. When I talk ninety to nothing and spend all of my money in one place, I could get in the car and drive in one direction, not knowing where I am going, but going anywhere is better than where I am. These are the days when I bombard all my friends that I haven’t talked to in days that I want to do something. On these days, I don’t sleep, I could be up for days at a time, and it wouldn’t bother me. I make poor choices when I am like this.

This is Bipolar Disorder in a Nutshell, at Least in my Case.

I am tired of the stigma on mental illness or mental health. Everyone can tell if you have asthma by the physical complications you have. However, when it comes to mental illnesses, we dare not speak of them. They don’t exist for people who don’t have them or perceive them as unfavorable.

You don’t see people not talking to people with asthma, so why shouldn’t they for people with mental illness. Honestly, I should feel free to share that I have bipolar disorder without having people think that it means I’m crazy. Furthermore, I shouldn’t have to own that lie, but here I am, pretending it doesn’t exist or calling myself crazy.

I am Tired of Comparing Myself to “Normal” People

What does that mean anyway? To be “normal.” The definition of normal is conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected. So I see that everyone should be the same, act the same, and do the same things the same way? Maybe I’m looking at it negatively, but it sounds like normal people are nowhere to be seen. Because no one is the same, no one is conformed to the same standards.

So why do we make ourselves feel less than just because of a mental illness? Bipolar disorder is my regular just because it isn’t yours doesn’t mean that you have the right to tell me that I am wrong, not to be trusted, or dangerous because of it.

Thankful

Today, I am thankful for modern medicine. It has helped me look at life a bit more clearly. God is more significant than all, but He created man to create a treatment to help. Never feel weak because you need medication to help you even things out. You are not weak! Honestly, you are brave and strong.