Tag: Courage

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Faith Journey

Be a Warrior, Not a Worrier

Brandi C

circle of hope counseling services (4)

Be a Warrior, Not a Worrier

Worry has a way of creeping into our minds, filling us with doubt, fear, and endless “what ifs.” It steals our joy, drains our energy, and keeps us stuck in cycles of anxiety. But what if, instead of being a worrier, you chose to be a warrior?

A warrior faces battles head-on, not because they are fearless, but because they refuse to let fear win. A warrior acknowledges the struggle but pushes forward anyway. Life will always have challenges, but you are stronger than your worries.

Worry keeps you focused on the problem, while a warrior mindset shifts your focus to solutions. Instead of letting fear paralyze you, choose to take action. Pray, prepare, seek wisdom, and trust that God is bigger than whatever you’re facing.

How do you stop worrying and step into a warrior mindset?

  1. Trust in God’s promises. He tells us not to fear because He is with us (Isaiah 41:10). Surrender your worries to Him, knowing He is in control.
  2. Take action where you can. Some things are out of your hands, but for the things you can change—do the work, make the decision, and move forward.
  3. Speak life over yourself. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts, remind yourself: I am strong. I am capable. I am not alone.
  4. Let go of what you can’t control. Worry won’t fix anything, but faith will give you peace.

Warriors don’t waste time on worry. They stand firm, trust God, and keep moving forward. Whatever battle you’re facing today, step into it with courage. Be a warrior, not a worrier. You were made for more than fear—you were made to fight and rise.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, Faith Journey, Quotes

You Can Always Begin Again

Brandi C

untitled design

No Matter How Hard the Past Is, You Can Always Begin Again

Life has a way of throwing us into storms we never saw coming. Painful moments, regrets, and heartbreak can make us feel like we are stuck—trapped in a cycle of the past. But here’s the beautiful truth: no matter how hard the past has been, you can always begin again.

Starting over isn’t about erasing what happened; it’s about choosing to move forward despite it. The past may have shaped you, but it doesn’t define you. Every sunrise brings new mercies, every breath is an opportunity to rewrite your story, and every step forward is proof that you are stronger than what tried to break you.

Maybe your past holds trauma, mistakes, or loss. Maybe you carry the weight of things you wish had been different. But beginning again isn’t about forgetting—it’s about healing. It’s about learning to give yourself the same grace you would offer someone else.

The most powerful thing you can do is believe in the possibility of renewal. It doesn’t have to be a grand, dramatic reinvention. Sometimes, beginning again looks like getting out of bed, making one small change, or allowing yourself to dream again. It looks like choosing hope, even when it feels impossible.

You are not your past. Remember, you are not your mistakes. You are a person capable of growth, love, and new beginnings. The past may be behind you, but your future is waiting—with open arms, ready for you to step into the next chapter.

So take a deep breath. Let go of the weight you no longer need to carry. And begin again.

Reach Out

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Faith Journey

I Did My Best, and God Did the Rest

Brandi C

@circle of hope counseling services (4)

I Did My Best, and God Did the Rest

There’s a deep peace that comes with knowing we are not in this alone. We show up, we try, we give it everything we have—but at the end of the day, we are only human. And that’s okay because God fills in the gaps where we fall short. At the end of my life, I want to say “I did my best, and God did the rest.”

Some days, our best doesn’t feel like enough. We carry burdens too heavy, face challenges too big, and battle thoughts that tell us we should be doing more. But the truth is, God never asked us to handle it all on our own. He asks us to trust Him.

When you’ve given all you can—when you’ve prayed, fought, endured, and still feel like you’re running on empty—know that God is still working. He sees what you’ve done. He knows your heart. And He is carrying you the rest of the way.

Maybe today, you feel like you’re falling short. Maybe you’re exhausted from trying to hold everything together. Take a deep breath and release it to God. Let Him take what you can’t carry.

Your best is all He asks for—not perfection, not endless striving, not doing it all alone. Just your best. And He will take care of the rest.

So, trust. Rest in His grace. Know that He is working in ways you can’t yet see. You are not failing, you are not alone, and you are deeply loved.

Do your best, and let God do the rest. 💛

Reach Out

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Faith Journey, Quotes

Take a Deep Breath and Try All Over Again

Brandi C

@circle of hope counseling services (3)

Take a Deep Breath and Try All Over Again

Some days don’t go as planned so you need to take a deep breath and tray all over again. You wake up with the best intentions, but life throws curveballs—stress, setbacks, exhaustion, or unexpected challenges. It’s easy to feel frustrated, defeated, or like you’re failing. But here’s the truth: you are not failing. You are learning, growing, and doing the best you can.

When things don’t go the way you hoped, pause. Take a deep breath. And try all over again.

Every single day is a fresh start. A new opportunity. You are not defined by yesterday’s struggles, last week’s mistakes, or the moments where you felt like you weren’t enough. Seriously, you are allowed to reset. You are allowed to begin again. And again. And again.

Trying again doesn’t mean ignoring the hard stuff—it means choosing to keep going despite it. It means giving yourself grace, adjusting where needed, and remembering that progress isn’t linear. Some days will be harder than others, but every time you get back up, you prove to yourself just how strong you are.

So, if today feels heavy, breathe. If you feel like you’ve messed up, breathe. If you don’t know how to move forward, breathe. Then take one step forward—no matter how small.

You are not stuck and you are not failing. You are trying, and that is enough. Keep going. Keep showing up. And when you need to, take a deep breath… and try all over again. 💛

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

It is Okay to Ask for Help

Brandi C

untitled design (2)

It Is Okay to Ask for Help

Somewhere along the way, we’ve been told that asking for help is a sign of weakness. That struggling alone is more admirable than admitting we need support. But that’s a lie. Asking for help is not weakness—it’s courage.

Life can be overwhelming. Some days feel heavier than others, and no matter how strong you are, you weren’t meant to carry it all alone. You don’t have to pretend you’re okay when you’re not. It’s okay to say, “I need help.” Whether that means reaching out to a friend, a therapist, a loved one, or even just admitting to yourself that things feel hard right now—it all matters.

Maybe you’re afraid of being a burden. But listen—you are not a burden. The people who love you want to be there for you. And if you don’t have that support system yet, there are people out there who care, who will listen, and who want to help. You are not alone in this.

Small steps count. Maybe today, “asking for help” looks like texting a friend, scheduling an appointment, or simply letting yourself acknowledge that you don’t have to do everything on your own. That is enough.

You are worthy of support. You deserve kindness, including from yourself. And no matter what your anxious thoughts tell you, you are never too much, never too broken, and never beyond help.

Let’s normalize asking for what we need. Let’s remind each other that strength is found in connection. And let’s keep fighting the darkness—together.

💛 You are not alone. Keep going.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Faith Journey, Medical, Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome

Let Us Marinate

Brandi C

Let Us Marinate

Let Us Marinate

 

Let Us Marinate on the picture. Open it up, enlarge it and just look. This canvas is a 16×20, and there is NO room left to put ANY type of bead. Beads of Courage is defined as “Every time a bead is given, courage is honored, suffering is alleviated, resilience is strengthened, and the experience of human caring is affirmed. Every Bead of Courage Program integrates the use of beads, the earliest art form known to humans, as visible, tangible symbols of human experiences that need and deserve to be expressed.”

This is my youngest son’s canvas of all of his beads. We kept them, for the longest time, on strings. The strings didn’t hold up, so we were able to get 2 beautifully hand-crafted wooden boxes that were overflowing. So, one day, I thought…let’s see what I can come up with. What I ignored was the WEIGHT of this thing. There is no way a nail can hold this thing up. We may have to prop it up or use 2 nails and a wire…it is heavy!

Each Bead

You will notice that there are different types of beads. Each bead is indicative of a procedure/therapy/accomplishment/etc. that the child has done. I will say, H did not earn any beads for the first 3 years of his disease. This was because BOC was a program for terminally ill children or children with cancer. I believe there was also, at his hospital, a cardiac program. When we moved hospitals, the requirements changed. Now, BOC includes those children/young adults with life-altering conditions. So, these are the beads he has earned in the last 2 years. Can you even imagine if we were to go back and get them for the first 3 years??!!

Oval Type Beads

Orange (too many to count)

Central Line (PICC), Broviac, Port, Midline, IJ, Pheresis Catheter Placement & Removal

Blue (too many to count)

Clinic Visit

Dark Green (0)

Dialysis, TPN, NPO

Gray (too many to count)

Dressing Change, Central Line, Osteotomy, Trach, Surgery Site, Others, & Skin Care

Glow in the Dark (2)

Echocardiogram

Magenta (too many to count)

Emergency, Unusual Occurrence, Seizure, Emergency Transportation

Light Blue (too many to count)

Eye Exam, Eye Drops, mouth Care related to Treatment

Glass Star (20)

General Surgery

Brown and Face Bead (2)

Hair Loss, Hair Growth

Lime (several)

Isolation Precautions, Fever, Neutropenia

Purple (too many to count)

IV Infusions (One bead per day or initiation & Discontinuation)

White (too many to count)

Learning New Medications, Parent Education

Beige (too many to count)

Nutrition & Diet Transitions

Yellow (too many to count)

Overnight Stay in Hospital (one bead per day)

Black (too many to count)

Pokes, IV starts, blood draws, subq & IM injections, port access, suture placement.

Tortoise (too many to count)

Procedures include Cath lab, biopsy, LP, casting, scope, shunt tap, IR, wound care, EVD, joint injections, aspirations, and others.

Pink (too many to count)

Respiratory support, sedation, anesthesia, ventilator

Silver Star (14)

Suture Removal, Staple Removal

Light Green (too many to count)

Test, Scans, CT, MRI, X-Ray, EKG, EEG, PFT, PET, US, BE, UGI, Nucl. Meds, Others

Rainbow (250)

Therapy, support staff visits (PT, OT, SLP), Others

Red (5)

Transfusions, Blood products, Pheresis

Aqua (a bunch)

Tube, Catheter Placement & Removal, NG, NJ, G-tube, Chest Tube, Foley, Drain, Others

Papa Beads (too many to count)

He got this from his Papa’s private collection. These beads are SO precious to me.

Special Beads

Handmade Glass Selection (68)

Acts of Courage, Treatment-related Milestones

Square Heart (3)

Admission or Transfer to Intensive Care Unit

BOC Signature Heart (2)

Completion of Treatment, Transfer to Adult Services

Ceramic Special Selection (50)

Independent self or parent giving infusions or injections, Following medication schedule, Special accomplishment, Recognition of Personal or Family Accomplishment

Bumpy (52)

Medication Challenges, Taking, learning, self or parent giving infusion or injection, Mobility Challenges, lying flat, bed rest, crutches, splint, wheelchair, 1st walk after surgery, other.

Fish (60)

Transfer units or facilities, long-distance travel for care, “upstream battle.”

Transplant Glass Selection (24)

Transplant

Member’s Choice (15)

Discharge from hospital

Let it ALL Sink In

This child, who got sick on June 6, 2017, had WAY more procedures, pokes, traveling, transplants, and all than he has had in the last 2 years. This canvas is only the last 2 years of the 5 he has had since he has gotten sick.

Resiliency.

He is fantastic, brilliant, strong, capable, and able, and now he is HEALED. I never thought I would say that word concerning H, but here we are saying it loud and proud for all to hear. God is good. I didn’t think He was good. Honestly, I wondered if He even existed sometimes. Yet, I had warriors all around us that held up my arms and faithfully prayed for my son. They were my faith when I had none.

My Theme Verse

Romans 4:18-21 Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed…Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21 being fully persuaded that God had the power to do what he had promised.

Take that OMS!

 

End the Stigma, Quotes

Get Your Fight Back

Brandi C

Get Your Fight Back

Get Your Fight Back is one of the first videos I saw on TikTok.  This, well, it gave me chills.  Every time I hear/read it, I have the same experience.  Sarah Jakes Robert amazingly delivered this sermon.

“Get Your Fight Back” by Sarah Jakes Robert

It is titled “Get your fight back.”

Girl, get your power back.

~Girl, start acting like you are a king’s daughter, and that there has always been a crown attached to your head.

Even when I was sick I was still His. Even when I was dead, I was still His.

Do you know who I am?

I am a child of the highest God.

He has kept me alive so that I can be a testimony to everyone attached to me.

Get Up: There is No Hold on You

Girl, you can get up again.

And Girl addiction can’t have you.

Girl divorce gotta let you go.

Get up girl, Girl get up, Girl get up, Girl get up, Girl get up again.

Girl Depression gotta let you go.

And Girl anxiety has to lose its hold.

I’m pleading for you to get up.

My daughter needs to see you get up.

And My sister needs to you get up.

Get up, Get up.

I gotta get up, I gotta get up again,  I gotta get up again.

Get Your Prophecy

God’s you just sent a word, And now I know I need to get up again.

Something died on the inside of me, but I feel my spirit coming back.

I feel my power coming back and my ideas.

And I feel these dry bones shaken and coming back to life.

I’m getting up, I’m getting up.

I’m getting in position.

And I’m tired of crying about it.

I’m tired of fighting about it.

So I’m getting in the position.

Girl, You gotta get up.

I’m getting up for my daughter, I’m getting up for my sister, I’m getting up for my kids, I don’t even have them yet, but I was getting up for them too.

And I’m getting up for my community and marriage.

Gotta get up, I gotta get up, I gotta get up, I gotta get up.

Jesus, you’ve been chasing me too long.

I’m here and I surrender.

I gotta get up, I gotta get up.

The bitterness you got to Let me go.

Death, You can’t have me.

I gotta get up.

Honestly, I gotta find my joy.

I’ve got to find my peace.

I Gotta find my spirit again.

My friend made me who I am, my spirit got me into this.

And My spirit is gonna get me out, My spirit is going to get me out of it.

I got my Spirit back.

God touch me, God overflow.

I need your spirit, I’m hungry for it, I’m desperate for it.

God help me up.

Who You Need to Let Know

Let Hell hear you.

And Let the Depression hear you.

Let the enemy know.

And Let death know.

Spirit

The spirit is coming back to me.

This spirit, what spirit?

The Holy Spirit, the Name that is above all Names.

Yes. When we call on that Name things happen.

That’s what I’m calling on.

What I need

Your Spirit.

Jesus, I need your power.

Your healing.

Get Who You Are Back

The King of kings.

Lord of lords.

You are the way maker.

My healer.

What I Call You

Excellent.

Wonderful.

Magnificent.

Jehovah Jairus.

Jehovah

What I Say

You can have control.

I surrender.

Make a way.

Nothing is off limits

I say God touch me as only you can do.

God give me power.

Help me forgive.

I say God Cleanse me from bitterness.

Sermon Video and Full Transcript of Sarah Jakes Robert

Girl Get Up

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Three Words I Can Say Could Make You Hate Me

Brandi C

Three Words I Can Say Could Make You Hate Me

Guest Blogger

In this piece, Three Words I Can Say Could Make You Hate Me, my guest blogger begins to outline her life when she was younger. She has a powerful voice yet is still too scared to let it out loudly. Time and Jesus will cure that. I’m so proud of her and all she has been doing to heal.

A Born Fixer

Ever since I was a little girl, all I wanted to do was please and helped you. All I have done my whole life is what you need. You needed someone to bathe a kid. I did it. You needed someone to help feed a kid. I did it. You needed someone to complain to, and that was me. 

I grew up listening to everything wrong in your life, your husband or ex-husband’s drama, your “my kids hate me,” my kids are terrible, and my kids don’t love me. Did you forget I was your kid too? Or am I just an ear to listen and a body to help work? You’ve groomed me well for the job I would like to have one day. If anything, I am a listener and want to help others to the best of my ability. So at least there is a positive within all the negativity. I have listened to and experienced this during my life.

This Thing Called Life

My life has been a series of what mom needs me to do next? What does my youngest brother need? Or even what can I help another brother with that day? He may have had most of your attention growing up, but that also meant that he got the attention of the men in your life. So many negative things were going on in his life as well. As much as I don’t like him, I do love him, so I didn’t want to see him so upset. 

You have complained to me so many times about so many different things that it makes me scared to share anything good or bad with you because I am afraid it will upset you. If I tell you some things, you’ll stop caring, stop loving me. Instead, I would bottle up or ignore it because I know you wouldn’t approve of or hurt your feelings.

What About Me and My Feelings

Like sometimes, I want to point out that I have feelings, too, and I’m tired of having only one-way conversations about you and your kids like I’m not one of them. I know you don’t mean anything by it towards me, but it still hurts me. Especially when you say we are all unmotivated kids, that’s don’t care about you. Maybe not in that order, but they have both been said. I am motivated. I work. I’m trying to move out. I do love you. Stop putting us all together like we are all the same. 

One day I would like to have a conversation with you about my life and the things I am learning about myself. Like I remembered what it was like to be motivated to finish something. Sure, it’s just a sweater, but that is an accomplishment to me. To be able to wear something that I made. Just because it’s not interesting to you doesn’t mean it’s not essential.

My Dreams

The same with schooling; just because it’s not what you want me to do doesn’t mean that it’s not something I can do. I want to work in the psychology field with kids. But that’s not good enough for you. You want me to be able to support myself, and I get that, but why can’t you help me in my decision on what I want to do? It just might take me a while to get there.

The Truth About My Engagement

I would love to sit down and talk with you about why I truly didn’t get married. How it was a lie, to begin with, sure it wasn’t intentional, but a lie nonetheless. I want to tell you that I have recently learned that I am not interested in men but more confused than anything. I’d like to have your support while I try to figure everything out all the way. But you’d disown me for that thought or try to shame me out of it. 

I have listened to everything you have had to say about everything and everyone. I have supported you through good and bad decisions. In short, I have loved you and accepted you as you are. But you would not do the same for me, I am sure. You would hear the words, and then you’d be done. Done with me and done with everything else because without me, who will you talk to?

Three Words I Can Say Could Make You Hate Me

Without me, who will help you when you’re down? Without me, who will help pick up the pieces left and glue them back together when anger or sadness strikes?

I love you, and I worry about you more than anything or anyone else. So me keeping this one thing from you. Keeping it under lock and key may hurt me, but at least I know you’ll be okay. Cause I’ll still help you. The sad thing is there’s nothing you can do to make me stop loving you, but just three could make you hate me.

Thankful

Today, I am thankful for the bravery of this young lady. She certainly has powerful emotion behind her words. Also, she is using them to help her sort through the muddy water. She is loved and a treasure. May she be blessed in her courage and continue to speak for those who do not have a voice.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

I Am Broken

Brandi C

 

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I Am Broken

I am broken

And I am not normal

I am not who I want to be

Instead, I am the one thing I have been raised to not be

The one thing that will make me lose people close to me

I am not who my parents expected me to be

Also, I am disappointed in their eyes

I am a disappointment in my own eyes

Struggling

I know it is wrong

Sadly, I know its not meant to be that way

I have not chosen to feel this way

It just happened

I have actively fought it

Honestly, I would rather not acknowledge it than admit to it

I don’t want to talk about it

And I don’t want to act on it

Normal

All I want is to be normal

To be who I was meant to be

Not who I have become

By choice or not

I hate myself for my feelings

I would rather just ignore it

Then deal with it

I am not normal

Sadly, I am broken

I AM NOT OKAY.

But one day I will be.

What God Says

God says He loves us.  He sent His son to die on the cross for us.  When we come to Christ, He throws our sins as far as the East is from the West.  Also, He says that Satan is the Prince of the Earth.  He comes to steal, kill, and destroy us all.  We have free will and it is a giant butthole.  God will not supersede free will, though He can at any moment.  He loves us and that is enough! This anonymous guest blogger shows such vulnerability and courage in writing and submitting this in order to help others.

The Trevor Project

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

My Story Will Empower Me

Brandi C

My Story Will Empower Me

Highlighting Stories of Survivors

In this story, you will read about abuse by a stepfather to his stepdaughter. The phrase “My Story Will Empower Me” has stuck in my throat. As my heart was breaking for what this young girl had gone through, in the end, she knows Truth. What man used for evil, He will use for His glory. Somehow, someway, her story will give the strength to someone else to SPEAK UP and GET OUT. Her strength and courage leave me in awe. I’m so proud of this young lady.

A TRUE story of several years of abuse and the suicidal ideations this young lady had at a very young age. She is NOT a victim. This girl is a survivor and a child of the King. Please be mindful that I will not tolerate judgment or hateful things if I leave comments. All names have been changed to protect her.

Her Story

Donald,

Sometimes, I like to lay in bed and daydream about what my life would be like had you not abused me for many years. I want to think that I would be able to look at myself in the mirror and not be utterly disgusted with myself. Maybe I could undress in front of a mirror without cringing every time I see myself. Perhaps I would feel more comfortable around older men.

I Wasn’t the Only One.

You took a genuine interest in my sister, but you preferred to take pictures of her. You saved the majority of touching for me. One of the primary examples of touching I remember is when we would walk next to each other. You would put your arm around me and grab my butt. Sometimes, you would switch it up and rest your hand on my butt.

When It Began

I remember the abuse started when I was about nine, but I’m sure it happened well before then. Never will I forget you making us change in front of you. I remember my sixth-grade year when you made me and my sister rotate, who would change directly in front of you, and how you wouldn’t let us wear anything to the bed besides our underwear. I also remember when you were in a particularly good mood, and you would make us sleep naked so you could come into our room and stare at our bodies.

Innocence Stolen

What traumatized me the most was when you made me and my sister go into the little garage with you. You made my sister lock the door and told us to get completely naked. I remember how shaky my hands were while taking off my clothes. I was so scared of what you were going to do next. You called it “checking us for ticks,” but I know that’s not why you were doing it because you didn’t make our brothers do it either. I also know that wasn’t the real reason because I remember you waited until our mom left to do it. We couldn’t have been in the garage for long, but it felt like a lifetime trapped in there with you.

I vividly remember what it felt like when your rough hands traced every single inch of my body. If I had the choice to forget one day in my life, that would be the day. That was the day that you took my innocence from me. I was ten years old. No ten-year-olds should ever have to feel how I felt on that day. Ten-year-olds should be playing dress-up, not getting abused by their stepfathers. I trusted you. I loved you, and I thought you loved me too. What you did was not love.

Wanting Out

At night, I would lay in bed and think of ways to kill you so the abuse would stop. If I wasn’t plotting to kill you, I was planning ways to kill myself. I didn’t care what it took. I wanted out of the situation. It’s crazy to think about how much I wanted to die at ten. How many ten-year-olds do you know that want to commit suicide?

Anger Flows Freely

I’m angry that you took my innocence from me. You took my childhood. I’m mad you didn’t feel guilty for what you did to me. Also, I’m angry that you didn’t spend the rest of your life in jail. Honestly, I’m mad that you are still alive and my mother still loves you. I’m angry you guys got married. She chose you over me. I’m mad you locked my brother in his room for a week because you thought he was faking it. I had to sneak him food and water. I am so angry about that. I’m mad you waited so long to take him to the hospital.

Even after he was diagnosed {with brain cancer}, you treated him like crap because you thought he was doing it for attention. I’m angry I didn’t get to be there with my brother as he was dying because of you. I don’t know how you live with yourself. How do you sleep at night? I hope you are miserable. I hope the guilt about my brother eats you up inside.

Wishes for My Future

If and when I have children, I will do everything I can to protect them from people like you. I promise that I won’t be like you or my mother. My children will never have to worry about men watching them change or shower. My children will never look in the mirror and hate themselves because of what happened. Hopefully, one day, I will be able to forgive you. I hope one day I will look in the mirror and be proud of who I am and what I have overcome. I wish I could say that this won’t happen to other little girls, but I know many people like you.

My Story Will Empower Me

I hope one day soon that I will be able to publicly tell my story so that other women can speak up about their stories. You will lose your grip on me one day, and I’ll love myself again. Soon, I will love my body. I will no longer be ashamed of you, and my story will empower me. One day soon, you’ll die, and I will sleep a tad bit better at night. You will get what is coming to you and deserve every bit of it.

You will have to answer for what you did to me one of these days. There is nothing you can ever say or do to make up for what you did to me. One of these days, I will be doing better than ever. Your abuse never has and will never define who I am or where I’m going. I hope you are happy with the choices you’ve made in life. I hope that it was all worth it in the end.

Yours Truly,

Nicole

Resources

If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

ChildHelp Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline