Tag: parenting

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

One Shot at Life, One Shot at Parenting And Grace Covers It All

barefootfaithjourney

perfect parenting

One Shot at Life, One Shot at Parenting And Grace Covers It All

You get one shot at life.
One shot at parenting, if you’ve been given that sacred role.

And you will make mistakes.

You’ll screw up—royally.
And you’ll raise your voice.
You’ll miss the mark.
Honestly, you’ll parent from a place of trauma, confusion, exhaustion… and sometimes even joy.
You’ll try your best to do everything right—and still fall short.

Because we’re not perfect.
We were never meant to be.

You Don’t Have to Be a Perfect Parent

You just have to be present.
Also, you have to love well.
You have to know when to look your child in the eye and say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong.”

That matters more than any parenting book, behavior chart, or perfectly packed school lunch.

“Love covers a multitude of sins.”
— 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)

Kids—young or grown—don’t need perfection. They need connection.
They need repair.
And they need to see what humility looks like in action.

Learn, Apologize, and Let It Go

The truth is—when we know better, we do better.
That’s what growth and redemption looks like.
Remember, that’s what being a cycle-breaker looks like.

Maybe this is what makes us better grandparents—we carry the wisdom of where we once went wrong. And now we walk into the next generation with a little more gentleness, a little more patience, and a lot more grace.

But here’s the thing:
Once you’ve apologized…
And once you’ve truly repented…
Once you’ve made the shift…

Let. It. Go.

Repeating the same apology over and over doesn’t serve your healing—or your child’s.
Whether they’re 5 or 45, they don’t need you stuck in shame.
They need you present, healthy, and honest.

A Gentle Challenge

📝 Try this: Think of a mistake that still haunts you. If you’ve already apologized, take a moment to release it in prayer. Let God remind you that you’re not defined by what you did—you’re defined by who He is.

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”
— Psalm 103:12 (NIV)

You only get one shot at this life.
So love big.
Repent quickly.
Show up faithfully.
And remember: grace was never about getting it all right—it’s about leaning on the One who already did.

💛 If you’re navigating the emotional weight of parenting, healing from your own childhood, or learning to reconnect with your kids—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Faith Journey

What Happens When Your Pitcher of Life Crashes

Brandi C

amor propio baby,

What Happens When Your Pitcher of Life Crashes

Life is like a glass pitcher from the 1960s—meant to hold lemonade, sun tea, or even flowers. From the moment we are born, we have a purpose, just as a pitcher is meant to hold liquid. As we grow, we fill that pitcher with our dreams, aspirations, and ideals. We pour into it our vision of the perfect career, the ideal family, the dream home, the car we long to drive, and the life we imagine for ourselves. Every hope and expectation fills the pitcher to the brim, reflecting the future we once envisioned. Here is a story of What Happens When Your Pitcher of Life Crashes.

But then, life happens. The pitcher slips from our hands, crashing to the floor, shattering into countless pieces. Our dreams scatter across the ground, and as we scramble to gather them, we cut ourselves on the shards of broken expectations. In that moment, we face a choice: sweep it all into the trash and discard our dreams, or painstakingly pick up the larger pieces and try to glue them back together.

Choosing the latter, we piece together our pitcher, carefully mending the cracks. To the naked eye, it may look almost whole again, a testament to our resilience. But as we begin to refill it with new dreams and experiences, the invisible fractures reveal themselves. Water seeps through the cracks, reminding us that no matter how hard we try, the pitcher will never hold liquid the way it once did.

This has been the story of my life. My dreams were grand—I wanted to be a veterinarian for farm animals, inspired by my father’s belief in my natural talent. I pursued that path, thinking it was the only way to make him proud. But in time, I realized he was proud of me simply for being his child. My true calling was to help people, though I didn’t have the words for it back then. It took 30 years for that dream to materialize.

I dreamed of a life on a farm, raising Angus cattle. Instead, I built a different kind of home. Marriage, too, took unexpected turns. He wanted one child; I wanted four. We compromised on three, ended up with five, and now we have seven. Parenting has been anything but perfect. I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve also learned the power of apologizing and acknowledging those missteps. I can’t undo the past, but I can ensure my children know they are loved, seen, and heard. I can’t force forgiveness, but I can model grace and understanding.

The dreams of my youth—riding a canary-yellow Harley, living in a spacious two-story house—evolved over time. I went from a sporty little car to a minivan, then an SUV. Our first home was a tiny 900-square-foot space, squeezing in seven people with a single bathroom. We moved several times before finally settling into a house we love—one we chose with our adult children in mind, a place where they would always feel welcome.

Is my family as close as I had envisioned? It depends on the season. Some relationships are stronger than others, and we all navigate misunderstandings and miscommunications. But we come together for holidays and gatherings, and I believe that, when it truly matters, we will show up for one another.

My pitcher will never hold water again. But rather than discard the broken pieces, I created something new. I took the shards—my pain, trauma, uncertainties, poor choices, regrets, and disappointments—and mourned the loss of what could have been. And then, God transformed those pieces into something beautiful. Like a mosaic, my life tells a different story than I once imagined, but it is still a masterpiece. Isaiah 61:3 speaks of beauty rising from ashes, and I have found that to be true. Even when life feels like it’s burning around me, when I take time for self-care, lean on those I trust, and embrace grace and forgiveness, I can see the beauty in the brokenness.

My story is still being written. My mosaic is still taking shape. And in its imperfection, it is more beautiful than I ever could have planned.

Reach Out

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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You Can Always Begin Again

Guest Blogger

Guest Blogger: From First Steps to Graduation

Brandi C

From first steps to graduation

From First Steps to Graduation: A Parent’s Handbook for Every Age

Parenting is a dynamic journey that evolves with each child’s developmental stage. Equipping oneself with tailored strategies is crucial for addressing the diverse challenges and milestones. This article offers practical advice to help parents adeptly navigate these complexities.

Embracing Early Childhood (0-5 Years)

In the early years, children are absorbing the world around them at a rapid pace. Parents can take proactive steps to ensure these formative years are enriching and educational.

Growing Through Elementary Years (6-12 Years)

As children enter school age, their social and academic worlds expand significantly. Here’s how you can help them navigate these crucial years.

Navigating Adolescence (13-18 Years)

The teenage years can be tumultuous as children seek independence and deal with physical, emotional, and social changes.

Preparing for Young Adulthood (19+ Years)

As children transition into adulthood, they need guidance to navigate the complexities of the adult world.

Self-Care for Parents

Parenting can be exhausting, and parents must take care of themselves, too. Here are some ways to maintain your health and well-being.

The parenting journey is enriching and challenging, shaping children and parents alike. With the right tools and knowledge, parents can effectively support their child’s journey from infancy to adulthood. Embrace each step confidently, fostering a nurturing environment encouraging growth and resilience.

Adoption, Guest Blogger

Meet my Guest Blogger and Sister Tera

Brandi C

Meet my Guest Blogger and Sister Tera

Meet my Guest Blogger and Sister Tera

 

Do you ever step back and take a look at where the Lord has had your journey? Reflection is an amazing reminder of our sanctification process. Sanctification….the word I view with both dread and anticipation. It is God’s plan of growing us into the likeness of Christ. Sounds lofty, but what does it require? Sanctification requires stretching. I am not a fan of being stretched, but the Lord has stretched me over the last several years in ways that I would never have asked, but in ways that I would never trade.

Memories

Recently I took a look at the blog I kept during our adoption processes. We have six children, three of whom joined our family through adoption. These three were older when they joined our family and all came home with memories of their life in their home countries.

During the adoption process, my blogs consisted of all the typical thoughts and anxieties that a mother exhibits while waiting for her precious child to be in her arms. Nothing ever happened on my timetable. What was the Lord thinking? Didn’t He know that our child needed to be home? Also, didn’t He sense our pain in the waiting? Wait, didn’t He part the Red Sea? Wasn’t He capable of blasting through the Red Tape? I feel anxious typing all of that right now! So, as I re-read my entries I ran across this note that typifies what I pray the Lord has taught me and continues to teach me in my walk with Him. We were on our way home with our newest son.

Previous Blog Post

This week we have watched God’s hand guide every aspect of our journey. Lots of travel troubles, UGH. Through it all, when I would feel anxiety welling up in my heart, I would hear Him asking me, Do you trust me? Also, do you really mean all the things you say to everyone else? Do you trust me to work out circumstances according to My plan, not yours? Finally, do you recognize that you are not in control? Over and over, I know that He was and is telling me that in good or bad I must choose to trust that this journey is HIS.

This journey of my life is the one that He has planned and intended. I still get very anxious, wanting to control situations and people, but honestly….deep within my soul, I do trust Him. I may not like the plan, but I trust that He has it ALL worked out. I’m on a plane right now on our last leg home from bringing home our son. We are surprising the other kids with an early flight home.

Soon we will be the eight of us. Our sweet boy is sleeping peacefully. He fully trusts us as his parents. We know where he is going and we know what is in store on the other end of this plane ride.  There was a plan to bring him home. Everywhere we’ve led him, he has willingly gone with a smile on his face, handheld out to take ours. Fully trusting. May I be the same with my Heavenly Father who has the plan?

Encouraging Words

As your family journeys along in life, I ask you to trust Him with the plan. Recognize that He sees the view from above the plane. The full view. You only see out of your little window. How we react to our journey will show the world that we trust HIM and love HIM more than we trust and love our plan. Ask yourself what you desire more…the child to be added to your family, your children to be whole, relief from difficulties, or is your desire for a relationship with the ONE who made both you and your child?

Lean Into Him

Marriage. Parenting. Adoption. Life.  Complex, beautiful, hard.  Embrace the hard as God’s provision for your sanctification.  Growth is never easy. Cling to Him.

Isaiah 55:8-9 “The Lord says: ‘My thoughts and my ways are not like yours. Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, my thoughts and my ways are higher than yours.’ ”

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

I Wonder What I Will Be Like

Brandi C

 

I Wonder What I Will Be Like

I Wonder What I Will Be Like

I wonder what kind of mom I will be

{I} get anxious thinking about it

I wanted this for so long

But now that it is here, I am scared

 

Love and Fear

I love you more than life itself

But you scare me 

I don’t want to blink and you will be gone

The thought of losing you is unbearable

And you aren’t even here yet

 

My Desire

I want to be a good mom

But I know I will make mistakes

I want to admit to you when I make a mistake

So you know that it’s ok to make mistakes

As long as we learn from them

 

What I See

I see so many families

Hurting, every day

Because of poor choices, the parents made

I can’t be that kind of mom

You don’t deserve that

 

What You Deserve

{You} deserve everything

You deserve the world

I want to preserve your innocence

Shield you from this world

 

Will I?

I wonder if I will be good enough

That is the theme of my life

It has always been there

It always will be

 

Love

I love you more than life itself

But I wonder if I will be a good mom

You deserve a good mom

I want to be that for you

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

The Reality of my Nightmare

Brandi C

The Reality of my Nightmare

In The Reality of my Nightmare, my guest blogger writes about her interpretation of the trials that surrounded her. She writes it as if she were me. I read it the morning of my friend’s funeral. She is pretty spot on in all that she said.

The Reality of my Nightmare

Writing this seems like a nightmare

I am waiting to wake up from this nightmare because of how real it feels. But when I open my eyes, it will all go away. No. This nightmare is real. I can’t believe this is happening to me. Why? Why me? What did I do wrong to cause these people to knock on my door? Who has been watching me and observing my every movement? 

I am afraid

Afraid to raise my voice even the slightest bit because someone might be watching. Also, I am scared to take my child to the other room for fear that someone might think I will punish them. Afraid to go out in public with my child for fear that someone will judge me the wrong way and call them again. Why me? 

Raising Kids

Raising kids is hard, especially 7 of them. They are all so different in so many ways. Yet, I would not change a single hair on their head because I love them so much. I love my kids with every fiber of my being. I would gladly take any strife or burdens off their shoulders. I will put them on my own if it helps them and their future. 

My kids are special.

Some have mentally challenging issues. Then, others have some physical problems that need my constant attention. Being a mom is hard. It is tiring even. Yet, I am glad God chose these beautiful children to be mine. 

I love fiercely and will do anything in my power to protect them from the world and its temptations. Sometimes, I help others before I think about myself and my needs. I have run ragged, going in different directions to help those in need as God calls me to do. Honestly, I try to open myself up to other moms in various clubs and organizations my kids participate. I try to help them and converse with them when they need a friend or a shoulder to cry on. 

But You

You took care of my child when he played sports on your team. He became best friends with your kids. I thought you loved him like one of your own. He stayed at your house and slept over so many nights. Every time, he had a blast when he came home beaming from ear to ear. He would tell me all about how fun it is at your house. 

Invitation then Betrayal

I invited you into my home, which we manage to keep clean amongst the chaos of having multiple children and animals in the house. And yet, you betrayed my trust by calling them. Why? Why me? 

You know my child is well-fed. We give him clothes and things to toys. Furthermore, we keep him involved in sports. Importantly, we teach him the love of Jesus in everything we do. We fight for him daily because he is different. And that’s okay because I love him so much.

How Would You Feel

You are a mother with kids of your own. How would you feel if someone called them? They showed up at your doorstep asking to be invited in. Then ask you probing questions about your home and relationships with your kids? And what if you found out that it was a supposed “friend” who called them on you. 

How would you feel? 

Betrayed? 

Confused? 

I should hope so. 

That is how I felt. 

Terrifying Agony

The terrifying agony that my kids could be ripped away from me with no warning. Sadly, the wailing and uncontrollable sobbing happened in my car when I got the call. My heart can’t take it anymore. I am so tired of having to justify myself to these people. Justify every action that I do and every word that comes out of my mouth. 

How would you feel? 

Would you demand an explanation from your “friend” and say some nasty things to them in retaliation? Would you constantly look over your shoulder to make sure no one was watching you if you ever had to punish your child in public? Or are you one of those parents letting their children run amuck and do whatever they want? 

Either way, I want you to know that it is understandable if you did not know the family or had never been in their home and seen how the family operates. It would be understandable if you didn’t know my son or me. 

But you did know us. 

I was at every game. I talked to you all the time. And yet, you still called. I could trust you. You have betrayed my trust. But I choose to let God be in control of my situation. I prefer to let God judge your actions when you get to Heaven instead of judging you, which I am not called to do. 

Honestly, I choose to love like Jesus with skin on and be the city on a hill for you. I prefer to let God listen to my sorrowful prayers and collect my tears in a jar. Furthermore, I choose to let God pick me up and comfort me because he knows I am the mom He called me to be. I am not perfect. But God does not call us to be perfect. He calls us to be his disciples and to love our neighbor in his word. 

My house may be messy sometimes, and my kids may drive me crazy most days, but in what reality is home always tidy and the kids always clean and well-behaved? I would love to meet those people and that family. 

Haven’t you ever made a mistake as a parent? 

Because if you say no, that is a bold-faced lie. We fail daily at things. The key is learning from those mistakes, moving on, and leaving the past behind us. Those failures are also successes. I have put several of my kids through a full education (and I have homeschooled them for many years as well). Two of them graduated with honors, which is a huge accomplishment.

Mama Pride

One of my kids is married with a baby on the way. I could not be happier for my sweet child. My smallest child is excelling at what doctors told us would be impossible. Yet, with me by his side, he has survived those odds. 

The moments of pride I feel for the children I raised surpass the moments of sadness I think when things like this happen. I choose to find the beauty in the ashes. I will stand tall and not be shaken by people’s opinions of my family and me.

My Choices

So I will also choose to continue to stand by my children and attend every activity, club, and sporting event they are in. And if you other moms judge me or whisper tall tales about me that are not even true, I will smile and turn the other cheek as God has called me to, even if it is the hardest thing I have ever done.

Cruelty of Others

People can be so cruel nowadays, and they always look at the plank in someone else’s eye rather than focusing on the speck of dirt in their eye. Words can slice through a person and bring them down when we should be standing together as moms and supporting one another rather than bringing them down and jumping to conclusions by calling the organization before they have the facts straight. 

No, we moms are not perfect. But we are doing the best we can with the circumstances we are currently in and the children with whom the Lord has blessed us. I will continue to be the city on a hill and shine my light bright for my kids and you. 

And I know deep down in my heart that God will be pleased with my strength and integrity, and when I get to Heaven, He will say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” I can not wait for that day to come. 

In the meantime

I will continue to be the most fantastic mom to my kids and a faithful spouse to my husband. I am showing them the light of God. Continuing to shield them from the world will be a lifelong journey, but I would not change one thing about it, not for you or any other mom who says a spiteful word towards me. 

I will pray for you even though it is painful. Because in my darkest moments, I cling to Jesus the most, and when my faith is tested, I come out stronger than ever because my Redeemer is with me. No more hiding. No more fear. I will not be afraid. 

 

End the Stigma, Quotes

Perspective from Mr. Rogers

Brandi C

Perspective from Mr. Rogers

Perspective from Mr. Rogers

 

Here is some Perspective from Mr. Rogers from Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.  This is what to do when you overreact and have regret.  “Many people have asked me do you ever get mad and of course I answer “well yes, everyone gets mad sometimes.”  The important thing is what we do with the mad that we feel in life.

A few weeks ago coming home from a particularly tough day at work, I stopped to see my two grandsons.  Their mom and dad weren’t there but the boys were there with the babysitter in the backyard, squirting water with hoses.  I could see that they were really having fun.  but I felt that I needed to let them know that I didn’t want to be squirted.

Do Not Squirt Me

So I told them so, and little by little, I could feel that the older boy, Alexander, was testing the limit until finally, his hose was squirting very close to where I was standing.  I said to him in my harshest voice, Okay, that’s it alexander turn off the water, you’ve had it.

He did as I told him and said he was sorry and looked very sad.  The more I thought about it, the sadder I got.  I realized Alexander had not squirted me.  That I had stepped into his and his brother’s playtime with a lot of feelings leftover from work.

Guilt

So when I got home, I called Alexander, on the phone.  I told him I felt awful about my visit with him. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was taking out my anger from work on him.  I told him I was really sorry.

Do you know how he answered me?  Oh, Baba, everybody makes mistakes sometimes.  I nearly cried.  I was so touched by his naturally generous heart.  I realized that if I hadn’t called him, I might not have ever received that wonderful gift of Alexander’s sweet forgiveness.”

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Memories with My Mom

Brandi C

Memories with My Mom

Memories with My Mom

 

Memories with My Mom. My earliest memories of my mom are when she would rock me and sing silly old songs that would make me giggle. We would play hide and seek, sit outside on the glider, and swing for a long time. 

We had snuggled in the bed, played with Barbie dolls, or watched me dress up about a million times just because she wanted to. We rode our bikes down the dead-end street and the car rides we would take to Granny’s or Jojo’s house. 

I love my mom. 

She is the best kind of mom a kid could have. My mom and dad were strict, but they made rules up for me to keep us in a structured house, and we always managed to have fun. She always took me to church on Sundays and AWANA on Wednesdays; she homeschooled us for the longest time, which I know at times must have been challenging for her with three kids. 

We would always do fun things together as a family and were all close. My mom always opened her home and heart to foster children and kids that we eventually adopted into our family, which caused us to grow in numbers.

My Thoughts

I must have made my mom’s life challenging because I was a considerably difficult child. There were a lot of things wrong in my life. Our relationship has hit lots of bumps in the road. I am very stubborn and unwilling to try new things because I am always afraid I will mess it up and embarrass myself. 

She gave me so many things that I asked for (begged for) without hesitation because she knew I wanted them. I never truly appreciated all of her wisdom and knowledge because I always think my way is best, and I know what I am doing is right. 

So many mistakes. 

I have made so many mistakes. I have hurt my mother on more than one occasion, yet she still loves me and still forgives me. No matter what. I love my mom. I love her kind and gentle soul. Her willingness to help others at moments of notice. The way she cooks with love and affection (she is the most fantastic cook). She is still in love with my dad after years of marriage. She still loves me even after all that I have put her through. 

So many tears. 

I can still see the look on her face when I told her I screwed up again. She gave me so many chances that I honestly did not deserve. She has been there for me through joyous occasions, heartbreak, funny moments, and moments of pride when I accomplish something the right way.

Communication

She has helped me learn how to communicate. To use my words even though that is sometimes very hard for me. Sometimes, I do not know how to articulate times properly. She has been there for me through my depression and anxiety. Honestly, I do not know how to handle it properly yet. She has been there for me throughout my whole school education. Also, she has supported me during the most challenging moments of college. She is the best person. Even if she says she isn’t, she is.

Strength

I do not care what she says. She is an excellent mother who does her best under certain circumstances that are out of her control. We are the very definition of a blended family. We have all kinds of mental health problems, physical problems, trauma, etc. And she is so graceful in dealing with everything she has dealt with in the past.

Hindsight is 20/20

I wish I were not the cause of some of her heartache. Also, I hope I had just listened to her instead of trying to do things my way. I wish that I had not asked for all of those things just because I wanted them. Honestly, I have prayed so hard that our relationship would be strengthened. At that moment, I vowed that I would always be honest and communicate with her whenever she asked, even if it was hard for me.

Answered Prayers

I have admitted some things to her that I can not even accept about myself. We have been open with each other, and we have gotten so much closer than we used to be, which I am so thankful for. God answered my prayers. I am gaining wisdom from her, and my communication has improved with time and patience. 

She is my rock and the one person I can trust never to judge me. I know she loves me with all of her heart, and I know that she prays for me every night. I can only hope that one day I will be like her. She is an amazing person. 

Mom, I love you more than words can even describe. 

I am so blessed and thankful that God chose you and Dad to be my parents. I am so sorry for all the times I made you cry over me. I am grateful for all the times you have been there for me, the times you have forgiven me, and the times that you have extended grace towards me. You inspire me with your strength every day. 

Mom, you are always the one to go without hesitation to help us kids. Lately, to sit with us in the hospital for days on end. You have such a giving soul. I have seen it through the relationships and friendships that you have had in the past. I can only hope that one day I will be like you.

Thank You

Thank you for everything you have done for me and what you continue to do for me every day. You are a gift and a treasure, and I will love you for the rest of my days on Earth. Know your worth (like you tell me every day). Know how much of a blessing you are to your family and friends because of your giving heart.

I love you, momma.

Always and forever.

Love, Peach.

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Where to Start

Brandi C

Where to Start

Where to Start

Where to Start? I guess I will tell the story of my darkest time yet most significant recovery. I should start at the beginning. My husband and I struggled with infertility for years. After testing, we were told that seeing a fertility specialist was our only option for having our children. We were advised there that IVF was our best option.

Beginning IVF

We began our cycle in May 2015. June 5, 2015, was the day we were scheduled to have our embryo transfer. An embryo transfer is where they transfer the embryos into the uterus. Hopefully, they will implant and begin a pregnancy. I woke up to a message during the night that said, “taking Grandaddy to the hospital for chest pains.” Then another said: “They’re sending him to Nashville.” I had tried to call as we got our day around and headed to the IVF office. I was an hour ahead, so no one answered.

 

Transfer Began

 

We got to the office and got ready to go into the transfer room. I’m lying there on the table as my husband holds my hand. They have an ultrasound probe pointed at me and a camera in the lab. “We are selecting the strongest two embryos hoping one will implant. As we discussed, this gives you a 33% chance at twins, but that is a manageable pregnancy.”

 

My World Began to Unravel

 

We watched as the lab technician drew two little embryos into a syringe. They brought it to us as we confirmed the identification. We watched as these two babies, our babies, were inserted into a catheter and landed in my uterus. “We need you to lay flat for an hour when you leave this room. You can go to the restroom and then lie down.” I went to the bathroom, returned, laid down, and grabbed my phone.

 

“Grandaddy has had a heart attack. We are on our way but aren’t to him yet.” My memory is pretty foggy after that. I know my uncle called me. “Grandaddy is going to pull through. Just like he always has. The doctors have always been wrong.” I knew. I knew the last time I saw him would be the last time.

 

A Choice to Make

 

Our doctor came in, and I asked if I could go to Nashville that night. I told him I needed to say goodbye to my Grandaddy. I needed to see him one last time. “You need to decide if you want to see your Grandaddy or if you want these babies and this pregnancy.” I knew what Grandaddy would tell me if he could. He would say to me to take care of the babies. “Grandaddy isn’t going to recover.” The moment the doctors had confirmed what God had already told me was going to happen. I couldn’t go for 48 hours.

 

If Heaven Wasn’t So Far Away

 

That night, they called all of our family in. When my dad arrived, they made the call and took Grandaddy off of life support. My brother had called me and let me talk to him before they did. “Grandaddy, it’s your Punkin. I’m pregnant. Do you hear me? I’m pregnant. There are two babies inside me right now growing. Watch over them, please. Keep them safe and protect them. If it doesn’t go my way, and I don’t get to keep them, hold them while I wait. I love you always.”

 

Fifty hours after our embryo transfer, I was at the airport in Detroit, MI, to Nashville, TN, to come and see my family as we laid my Grandaddy to rest. I took a leap of faith and told everyone we were expecting. We played the song “If Heaven Wasn’t So Far Away ” at his funeral.

 

June 15, 2015

 

The day before his 75th birthday, we got the call that we were indeed pregnant. Our first round of IVF was successful. Six weeks into our pregnancy, we found out both embryos had implanted, and we were expecting TWINS!! Ten weeks into our pregnancy, we discovered a complication with baby B. My placenta was too close to my uterus. There was a chance we could miscarry them.

 

I was on a weight and activity restriction for two more weeks. We decided if baby B survived, we would name this baby after Grandaddy. Twenty weeks into our pregnancy, I felt our girls kick for the first time. “If Heaven Wasn’t So Far Away” was playing on the radio when it happened. Thirty-five weeks into our pregnancy, we were told she had a hole in her heart that would need to be repaired at birth. Thirty-seven weeks five days into our pregnancy, I was told the babies were out of the room, and we had to induce. Thirty-eight weeks one day, I check-in, and we begin our induction with our sweet girls.

 

They Are Here

 

They did not tolerate this well, and because of their struggle, we ended an emergency c-section 27.5 hours later. Baby A was 4lb 12oz. Baby B was 4lb 3oz. One hour after their birth, baby B was taken from us and put into the NICU due to low blood sugar and issues with her temperature. Five days after their birth, they went home with me at just 4lb 6oz. And 3lb 15oz. A few days later, we were told baby B had some concerning blood work and needed to be tested for cystic fibrosis. At eight weeks, she was tested, and it was negative. You see, she has always been Grandaddy’s baby. In July of 2008, we were told not to expect to have him that year for Christmas.

Tomorrow, the Story is Continued.

Guest Blogger

Take Care of Your Mental Health

Brandi C

Guest Blogger, Jenna Sherman, is writing again to help you to find ways to reduce your stress and Take Care of Your Mental Health.  Due to the subject matter of this month and the continuing pandemic of Co-vid19, self-care and reducing stress is imperative.

Take Care of Your Mental Health

How Families Can Reduce Stress and Tension During the Pandemic

The COVID-19 pandemic has been going on for months, but for self-isolating households, this time probably feels much longer. Keeping up with current guidelines and information is stressful enough. Many families are also dealing with stress from being stuck indoors together. Fortunately, there are numerous ways to address household tension. This will help your family grow closer as you ride out the rest of this pandemic.

Take Care of Your Mental Health

Before you can be there for your family, taking care of yourself is sometimes necessary. Prioritizing your mental health is always important, but it matters even more during these stressful times. Following Barefoot Faith Journey and other bloggers who regularly write about important mental health topics is a great way to start your journey toward better mental health.

 

Practicing self-care is also essential during the pandemic. Self-care can take countless forms, and it means something different to anyone. You might not be able to practice all of your usual self-care habits. During the pandemic, it still helps to prioritize simple things. Such as exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, drinking plenty of water, and eating nutritious foods.

 

If you struggle to cope, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has excellent resources available to help you through these times. For example, some resources can help you locate treatment options during the pandemic. In contrast, others can help you find solutions if you are overwhelmed with finances or other stressors that may have worsened because of the pandemic.

 

Keep in mind that your children may also find it challenging to cope well with the pandemic’s changes. Listening to your children’s concerns, providing structure to the day, and giving context to the news are just a few ways to help, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America.

Spend Time Outside

Getting fresh air is one of the most effective ways to bond as a family during the pandemic while eliminating stress and boosting everyone’s mental health. You might not be able to enjoy the same activities you did before, such as pastimes that require you to be in large crowds, but there are plenty of other ways to get outside.

 

Going on a camping adventure is fun and socially distant to try something different and get your minds off the situation. Likewise, visiting local parks you haven’t been to before is an excellent way to explore your neighborhood and stay active while self-isolating. You can even have fun without having to leave the backyard. Try having a backyard bonfire, playing yard games, or stargazing.

Keep Boredom at Bay

Boredom can easily cause tension to rise despite your best efforts. Going outside is a great way to reduce stress. There are also various fun indoor activities and equally fun bonding opportunities. For example, having a weekly game night is an excellent way to pass the time. Opting for the cooperative board and video games will allow you to keep the mood light rather than turn it competitive.

 

If you want to get serious about online gaming with each other, make sure your internet connection can keep up. Upgrading to fiber optic internet is brilliant, especially if you plan to play multiplayer games like Fortnite and let your kids play games while you work from home.

Fiber optic internet can handle several devices at the same time. As an added benefit, a faster internet connection makes downloading or streaming movies easier. This is good if you want to have a family-friendly movie night.

 

Some tension is expected as your family navigates the pandemic and adjusts to the new normal. However, it’s important not to let stress get the best of you. Checking in with your mental health, getting outside, and finding ways to combat stress indoors will help your family weather whatever the pandemic throws your way.

 

Life or Something Like It

Vomit and a One-Eyed Rooster

Brandi C

Vomit and a One-Eyed Rooster Named Nugget and the Complexities of Life

It’s a beautiful fall day. The wind whips through the trees, the clouds float around like cotton balls, and the smell of burning leaves fills the air. Sadly, inside, there’s also the smell of vomit. Ah, the little moments of life that keep you on your toes.

Sweet Nothings

As I was peacefully sleeping, my sweet husband crawled into bed, and I thought I was hearing the sweet whisperings of love in my ear. But no, it was him saying, “Peach just puked in her bed.” Ah, nothing gets a girl moving like that! Bless his heart, he took care of the mess, shaking out the chunks from the blanket, and managed to toss them near the patio and boxwood out back. He even washed the blanket for me.

Puker #1 & Puker #2

I went downstairs to check on the poor puker, Peach, who was sitting by her puke bowl looking pretty miserable. I asked if she wanted to come upstairs to sleep on the couch, and she agreed. We made her bed and got her settled in for the night. Everything seemed calm. Everyone was asleep, and B was off to work, when in stormed Boo.

“Catfish just puked up some vegetables in his bed!” Oh great, that’s disgusting. I’m not a “vomiter,” but I am great at cleaning up the aftermath. Sadly, the whole thing was just too much to handle at once. I walked into Catfish’s room to find chunks of green beans, corn, and some other unidentifiable substance. Trying not to blow chunks myself, I cleaned up the mess.

Throwing Chunks

After gathering the nastiness, I decided to be efficient and throw Catfish’s puke out front while Peach’s got tossed out back. I shook out what I could behind the boxwood, and then walked through the house, only to realize my feet were sticking to the floor.

My sweet husband had cleaned out Peach’s bed, but in his rush, he wasn’t super careful. Vomit droplets were scattered all through the hall, the dining room, the kitchen, and even the laundry room. Gross doesn’t even begin to describe it. I had to mop, mop again, and mop a third time, but when I thought I was done, I realized I still hadn’t gotten it all. Lesson learned.

4 Down

Since I couldn’t get the chunks out of Catfish’s bed or the floor, I resorted to using the vacuum cleaner. I sprinkled baking soda on the mattress and carpet, and just when I thought I could rest, I turned to see Bug—green, but not with envy—she was blowing chunks too.

I gave her and D some Phenergan to settle their stomachs, then they went back to bed. Boo was the only well one, so I let him play the Wii while I tried to rest. He later took the dogs outside and came back complaining that the cold air made his belly hurt. Ugh. I had four sick kids upstairs resting, and one healthy one. Meanwhile, I cleaned the house and took care of business.

Nugget the One-Eyed Rooster

After mopping again, I went out to check on the chickens. My four hens and Big Red, the rooster, were waiting for their breakfast and fresh water. I gladly obliged. I do enjoy my chickens. The boxes that the kids and neighbors had made were ready for some wood chips, so I brought them into the bedroom/bathroom section of the coop.

And then, there he was—Nugget, aka Einstein, perched high up on a shelf. Something was different. He was missing an eyeball. Nugget had always been the smallest of the bunch, and the hens never treated him well, so I suspected they’d pecked him. It was a sad sight, but Nugget seemed to be doing okay, still hanging on in his own way.

Vomit and a One-Eyed Rooster

 

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