Tag: Letting Go

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

A New Year, Not a New You

barefootfaithjourney

A New Year, Not a New You

A New Year, Not a New You

January has a way of whispering lies.

Be better.
Try harder.
Fix yourself.

But what if this year doesn’t ask you to become someone new?

What if January invites you to honor who you already are and the season of life you are standing in right now?

So many of us step into a new year carrying invisible weight like unfinished grief, changing family roles, children growing, marriages evolving, parents aging, dreams shifting. Life moves whether we are ready or not. Sometimes the hardest part isn’t the change itself, but the pressure to pretend we are unaffected by it.

This month, we are slowing down.

Instead of rushing toward resolutions, we will pause to name the seasons of family life like leaving, joining, parenting, launching, caregiving, letting go. Also, the emotions that live inside them. There is nothing weak about acknowledging transition. Change is sacred ground.

Scripture reminds us:

“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

January is not about becoming more.
It is about becoming honest.

Welcome to a month of honoring where you are.

Circle of Hope Counseling Services

Related Posts

Finding Calm in the Chaos Understanding and Managing Stress

Parenting a Child with ADHD Finding Patience and Joy in the Chaos

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

What to Keep, What to Leave Behind

barefootfaithjourney

What to Keep, What to Leave Behind

What to Keep, What to Leave Behind

Every new season, chapter, or transition invites us to make a choice:

What do we carry with us… and what do we release?

It’s not always easy. Some things we’ve held onto for years like habits, patterns, relationships, beliefs. They feel so familiar that letting go seems impossible. Other things are life-giving, but we forget to pack them in the rush of moving forward.

This process isn’t just about decluttering your home or schedule. It’s about making space for the life God is calling you into, one intentional choice at a time.

1. Start With Honest Reflection

Find a quiet space, take a deep breath, and ask yourself:

  • What has been giving me life, energy, and hope?

  • What has been draining me, discouraging me, or distracting me from God?

  • What fears or excuses keep me holding on to things I no longer need?

Write your answers down without judging them.

2. What to Keep

These are the things that help you grow, heal, and stay rooted in Christ. They can be practices, values, relationships, or even mindsets:

  • Healthy Rhythms: Prayer, Sabbath rest, nourishing food, movement you enjoy.

  • Life-Giving Relationships: People who speak truth with kindness, who celebrate your wins, and hold space for your tears.

  • Faith Practices: Scripture reading that feeds your soul, worship that draws you near, serving in ways that align with your calling.

  • Hope-Filled Thoughts: Beliefs that anchor you in God’s promises.

3. What to Leave Behind

Leaving behind is not the same as giving up—it’s making space. These might include:

  • Toxic Patterns: People-pleasing, overcommitting, self-criticism.

  • Unhealthy Relationships: Connections rooted in manipulation, comparison, or constant conflict.

  • Draining Habits: Overscrolling, gossip, numbing your emotions instead of processing them.

  • False Beliefs: “I’m not enough.” “God has forgotten me.” “I have to do it all.”

4. Grieve What You Let Go

Even when we know something isn’t good for us, letting it go can feel like loss. Acknowledge the grief. Bring it to God. Trust that what He’s asking you to release will be replaced with something better in His time.

5. Carry Only What You’re Meant to Carry

Picture yourself walking into the next season with a lighter load. Everything you keep is something you’ve chosen with care. Everything you leave behind is something you’ve entrusted to God’s hands.

💛 Gentle Encouragement

Every “yes” to something life-giving requires a “no” to something that isn’t. You are allowed to travel light. You are allowed to let go. And you are allowed to hold on to what matters most—even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.

Scripture to Hold:
“Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” — Hebrews 12:1

Related Posts

The Difference Between Escaping and Resting

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

When You’ve Been Carrying Too Much for Too Long

barefootfaithjourney

When You’ve Been Carrying Too Much for Too Long

When You’ve Been Carrying Too Much for Too Long

Maybe you didn’t realize how heavy it was until you finally put it down. The weight of responsibility. The pressure to hold it all together. The emotional load of caring for others, managing crisis, pretending to be fine. No wonder you feel tired.

God never meant for you to carry all of it alone.

There’s a deep kind of rest that comes from surrender. Not giving up—but giving over. The burdens you’ve carried silently, the pain you’ve minimized, the fear you’ve hidden. All of it is safe in God’s hands.

Let this be the day you lay it down. The expectation. The over-functioning. The exhaustion. Come back to yourself. Reclaim your energy. Release the need to prove, perform, or push through. You are allowed to be carried too.

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you.” —Psalm 55:22

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you. We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.


📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.
You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

 

Related Posts

You Were Made to Overcome – Believe in Yourself and What God Planted Inside You

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

Trust the Period

barefootfaithjourney

trust

Trust the Period

There are times in life when God says, “It’s done.”
A relationship ends.
A door closes.
A chapter finishes.
And yet—we still stand there, confused, clutching the pen, trying to rewrite what God already finished.

“Never put a question mark where the Lord put a period.”

We ask:
But what if I tried harder?
What if I misunderstood?
What if it wasn’t supposed to end like that?

But here’s the truth:
When God ends something, it’s not to punish you. It’s to protect, redirect, and refine you.

Let God’s Period Be Enough

God sees the full picture. He knows what’s ahead.
And sometimes the greatest act of trust is not in the open door—but in walking away from the closed one.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
— Proverbs 3:5–6 (NIV)

It’s not easy.
We like answers. We crave closure.
But faith often asks us to release the pen—and believe that God knows how the story ends.

A Gentle Challenge

📝 Try this: What are you still questioning that God already resolved? A breakup? A job loss? A redirection? Write it down. Then write a prayer of surrender next to it.

It doesn’t have to make sense right now.
It just has to be surrendered.

Let the period be enough.
Let God write the next sentence.
Trust that the Author of your story is faithful—and still working.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

Related Posts

Make A Wish and Give Kids The World

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

Learning to Forgive: Freedom for Your Heart

Brandi C

Learning to Forgive: Freedom for Your Heart

Learning to Forgive: Freedom for Your Heart

Forgiveness is some of the hardest, holiest work we’ll ever do. It’s not about condoning what happened—it’s about choosing not to carry it anymore. Eventually, we will learn that Learning to Forgive: Freedom for Your Heart.

So many people come to therapy carrying anger they’ve never named, grief they’ve never expressed, or pain they’ve never given themselves permission to feel. Therapy helps you untangle that. It helps you name it, feel it, and finally, release it.

Forgiveness is a process. But the freedom it brings is worth the work.

We often think forgiveness is for the other person—but it’s also for us. Unforgiveness is heavy. It ties us to past hurt and holds our hearts hostage. Forgiveness, however, is a release. It doesn’t always mean reconciliation, but it does mean peace. In therapy, we explore how forgiveness doesn’t happen overnight. It takes grieving, boundaries, truth-telling, and, often, God’s help. He’s the one who softens hardened hearts and helps us do what feels impossible. Forgiveness isn’t weakness—it’s strength fueled by grace.

Practical Tips:

  • Identify one person you need to forgive (maybe even yourself).

  • Write a letter expressing how you feel—whether or not you send it.

  • Set boundaries to protect yourself moving forward.

Faith Perspective:
Jesus modeled radical forgiveness. In Matthew 6, we’re reminded that as we forgive others, we receive freedom too. Forgiveness isn’t just for them—it’s for you.

Reach Out

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

Related Posts

Not All Scars Can Be Seen

Book Review, Circle of Hope Counseling Services

What Does ‘New Vision’ Mean

Brandi C

 What Does 'New Vision' Mean

What Does ‘New Vision’ Mean

Elizabeth B. Brown discusses the importance of gaining a new vision in her book, Living Successfully with Screwed-Up People. The idea of focusing on what is present rather than what is lacking in a difficult relationship is a powerful shift in perspective.

This concept resonates deeply. Fractured relationships can sometimes overshadow the joy found in those still present. Some may struggle to relate to this feeling, while others nod in understanding.

Conversations with trusted individuals can bring clarity. A friend, though distant for many years, offered wisdom and honesty that was both challenging and necessary. Sometimes, it is easier to seek validation from those who agree, but real growth comes from listening to hard truths.

Reading this book further reinforced the lessons learned. It highlights the concept of Aerial Vision—a broader perspective that removes arbitrary triggers and reveals that control in relationships is a choice. No one can dictate emotions or reactions unless that control is permitted. A difficult relationship is a shared dynamic; it takes two to sustain conflict.

Healing requires acknowledging personal responsibility while understanding that not all relational difficulties stem from one person alone. Apologizing when necessary is important, but dwelling in shame is harmful. Genuine repentance means making amends when possible, but if reconciliation is refused, the burden of guilt should not remain.

In some cases, apologies have been extended even without knowing the exact wrongdoing, simply to restore peace. However, when miscommunication persists and resolution remains elusive, sometimes the best step forward is releasing the situation and moving on.

Boundaries play a crucial role in managing complex relationships. Fear of rejection can make setting limits difficult, especially with close relationships. But maintaining unhealthy dynamics for fear of losing a connection only prolongs the pain. Relationships built on respect will withstand boundaries, while those dependent on control and manipulation will resist them.

This book underscores the reality that difficult relationships can feel like swamps—murky, filled with obstacles, and exhausting to navigate. However, a shift in perspective can illuminate a path forward. Choices determine whether a person remains stuck in turmoil or moves toward renewal.

True peace may not always mean reconciliation. While the hope for healing remains, it is not always possible. In such cases, seeking peace and setting firm boundaries are acts of self-preservation. As the book states, “The swamp bottom is often the beginning of renewal.” Embracing a broader vision fosters strength, clarity, and a healthier way forward.

Reach Out

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

Related Posts

Facing Fear God is Bigger

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

Keep Moving Forward

Brandi C

circle of hope counseling services (5)

Keep Moving Forward and You Will Never Have a Reason to Look Back

Life has a way of throwing challenges in our path. Some obstacles leave scars—both seen and unseen. The weight of the past can feel overwhelming, making it tempting to dwell on what was, what could have been, or the pain we’ve endured. But true growth happens when we shift our focus from what’s behind us to what lies ahead.

Why Moving Forward Matters

Looking back too often keeps us stuck. Regret, guilt, and fear can act as chains that hold us in place, preventing us from embracing the future. But when we choose to move forward, we give ourselves permission to heal, to grow, and to discover new possibilities that we never imagined.

How to Keep Moving Forward

✔ Accept the Past – Acknowledge what has happened, but don’t let it define you. ✔ Forgive Yourself and Others – Carrying resentment only weighs you down. ✔ Set New Goals – Focus on what excites and motivates you. ✔ Surround Yourself with Positivity – Be with people who uplift and encourage you. ✔ Take Small Steps Every Day – Progress isn’t always huge leaps; even small movements count.

The Power of Forward Motion

When you keep moving forward, you shift your mindset. You become more focused on growth rather than pain, more centered on opportunities rather than losses. The road ahead may not always be easy, but every step forward is a step away from the things that no longer serve you.

No Need to Look Back

Keep moving forward, and you will never have a reason to look back. Not because the past doesn’t matter, but because the future holds so much more for you. Walk boldly into it—you are stronger than you think, and your best days are ahead.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

Related Posts

Mental Health Check-In

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Faith Journey

You are Enough

Brandi C

untitled design (1)

You Are Enough

I know it feels like the world can be against you sometimes. The weight of others’ opinions, assumptions, and judgments can be exhausting. But hear me loud and clear: you are enough. You are worthy of love, respect, and all the good things life has to offer.

You do not deserve to be treated as “less than”—not by family, friends, co-workers, or even a stranger having a bad day in a drive-thru. Your worth is not up for debate. You deserve kindness, just as you should extend kindness to others. We are all trying to navigate this life, and we only get one shot at it. Make it count.

People will believe what they want to believe about you. Let them. You cannot control someone else’s thoughts, assumptions, or misunderstandings. What you can control is how you allow those things to affect you. You don’t have to make space for people who tear you down, question your worth, or bring negativity into your life.

Setting boundaries is not just healthy—it’s necessary. Protecting your peace is not selfish; it is self-respect. If that means creating distance from toxic people, do it. If that means cutting them out completely, don’t hesitate. The people who truly care for you will respect your boundaries, not challenge them.

You are not here to prove yourself to anyone. You are here to live, to love, and to embrace the beauty of who you are—without apology. Do not let anyone convince you that you are anything less than enough.

Stand tall. Walk in your worth. And if someone refuses to see it, let them go. You are enough—exactly as you are.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

Related Posts

What is a Traumaversary?

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, Faith Journey, Quotes

You Can Always Begin Again

Brandi C

untitled design

No Matter How Hard the Past Is, You Can Always Begin Again

Life has a way of throwing us into storms we never saw coming. Painful moments, regrets, and heartbreak can make us feel like we are stuck—trapped in a cycle of the past. But here’s the beautiful truth: no matter how hard the past has been, you can always begin again.

Starting over isn’t about erasing what happened; it’s about choosing to move forward despite it. The past may have shaped you, but it doesn’t define you. Every sunrise brings new mercies, every breath is an opportunity to rewrite your story, and every step forward is proof that you are stronger than what tried to break you.

Maybe your past holds trauma, mistakes, or loss. Maybe you carry the weight of things you wish had been different. But beginning again isn’t about forgetting—it’s about healing. It’s about learning to give yourself the same grace you would offer someone else.

The most powerful thing you can do is believe in the possibility of renewal. It doesn’t have to be a grand, dramatic reinvention. Sometimes, beginning again looks like getting out of bed, making one small change, or allowing yourself to dream again. It looks like choosing hope, even when it feels impossible.

You are not your past. Remember, you are not your mistakes. You are a person capable of growth, love, and new beginnings. The past may be behind you, but your future is waiting—with open arms, ready for you to step into the next chapter.

So take a deep breath. Let go of the weight you no longer need to carry. And begin again.

Reach Out

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

Related Posts

What Does Impossible Really Mean

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Faith Journey

I Did My Best, and God Did the Rest

Brandi C

@circle of hope counseling services (4)

I Did My Best, and God Did the Rest

There’s a deep peace that comes with knowing we are not in this alone. We show up, we try, we give it everything we have—but at the end of the day, we are only human. And that’s okay because God fills in the gaps where we fall short. At the end of my life, I want to say “I did my best, and God did the rest.”

Some days, our best doesn’t feel like enough. We carry burdens too heavy, face challenges too big, and battle thoughts that tell us we should be doing more. But the truth is, God never asked us to handle it all on our own. He asks us to trust Him.

When you’ve given all you can—when you’ve prayed, fought, endured, and still feel like you’re running on empty—know that God is still working. He sees what you’ve done. He knows your heart. And He is carrying you the rest of the way.

Maybe today, you feel like you’re falling short. Maybe you’re exhausted from trying to hold everything together. Take a deep breath and release it to God. Let Him take what you can’t carry.

Your best is all He asks for—not perfection, not endless striving, not doing it all alone. Just your best. And He will take care of the rest.

So, trust. Rest in His grace. Know that He is working in ways you can’t yet see. You are not failing, you are not alone, and you are deeply loved.

Do your best, and let God do the rest. 💛

Reach Out

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

Related Posts

What Do You Want To Do?

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Faith Journey, Quotes

Take a Deep Breath and Try All Over Again

Brandi C

@circle of hope counseling services (3)

Take a Deep Breath and Try All Over Again

Some days don’t go as planned so you need to take a deep breath and tray all over again. You wake up with the best intentions, but life throws curveballs—stress, setbacks, exhaustion, or unexpected challenges. It’s easy to feel frustrated, defeated, or like you’re failing. But here’s the truth: you are not failing. You are learning, growing, and doing the best you can.

When things don’t go the way you hoped, pause. Take a deep breath. And try all over again.

Every single day is a fresh start. A new opportunity. You are not defined by yesterday’s struggles, last week’s mistakes, or the moments where you felt like you weren’t enough. Seriously, you are allowed to reset. You are allowed to begin again. And again. And again.

Trying again doesn’t mean ignoring the hard stuff—it means choosing to keep going despite it. It means giving yourself grace, adjusting where needed, and remembering that progress isn’t linear. Some days will be harder than others, but every time you get back up, you prove to yourself just how strong you are.

So, if today feels heavy, breathe. If you feel like you’ve messed up, breathe. If you don’t know how to move forward, breathe. Then take one step forward—no matter how small.

You are not stuck and you are not failing. You are trying, and that is enough. Keep going. Keep showing up. And when you need to, take a deep breath… and try all over again. 💛

Related Posts

Let Them by Cassie Phillips

Faith Journey

Let Them by Cassie Phillips

Brandi C

let them

Let Them by Cassie Phillips

If they want to choose something over you, LET THEM.

If they want to go weeks without talking to you, LET THEM.

If they are okay with never seeing you, LET THEM.

If they are okay with always putting themselves first, LET THEM.

If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, LET THEM.

If they want to follow the crowd, LET THEM.

If they want to judge or misunderstand you, LET THEM.

If they act like they can live without you, LET THEM.

If they want to walk out of  your life and leave, hold the door open, AND LET THEM.

Let them lose you. You were never theirs, because you were always your own.

So let them.

Let them show you who they truly are, not tell you.

Let them prove how worthy they are of your time.

Let them earn your forgiveness.

Let them call you to talk about ordinary things.

Let them take you out on a Thursday.

Let them talk about anything and everything just because it’s you they are talking to.

Let them have a safe place in you.

Let them see the heart in you that didn’t harden.

Let them love you.

Author: Cassie Phillips

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

Related Posts

Believe in Yourself

Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins

Faith Journey

Joy in the Morning

Brandi C

psalm 30 5 sorrow to joy devotional01 25 purple

 

Let’s just leave this right here. Joy in the morning. I highly encourage you to go to YouTube and listen to the song. It is worth it, and I listen to it almost daily. There is a reason and a season for everything under heaven. If we could all just grasp that knowledge, we could truly experience this feeling at any time of the day. I pray you find yours today! Let the lyrics speak to your heart, bringing peace, hope, and encouragement. Trust in His timing and grace! Even when we don’t think it is the right time, in our eyes, it is always perfect in His.

… Everything happens for a reasonBut you don’t know what you don’t know.And you’ll never have peace if you don’t let go of tomorrow.‘Cause it ain’t even faith ’til your plan falls apartBut you still choose to follow.If it doesn’t make sense right nowIt will when it’s over
… There will be joy in the morning
… Giving in to your feelingsIs like drowning in the shallowsOh, you got to keep believingEven in the middle of the unknown‘Cause grace will be there when you come to the end of your ropeAnd you let goIt may feel like you’re going down nowBut the story isn’t over, oh
… There will be joy in the morningThere will be joy in the morning, ayeIf it’s not good, then He’s not done
… There will be joy in the morning(Hold on, hold on ’til the morning) oh we believe, we believeThere will be joy in the morning(Hold on, hold on ’til the morning) oh, aye, wooIf it’s not good, then He’s not doneNo, He’s not done with it yet

Reach Out

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

Related Posts

Not All Storms Disrupt

End the Stigma, Faith Journey, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

When the Silence is Deafening

Brandi C

When the Silence is Deafening

"</p

When silence becomes deafening, emotions can shift from moment to moment. Some days, it feels like they change by the minute. Lately, the silence has been so loud that I can’t hear myself think. It’s like when my aunt can’t smell anything because the noise around her is too overwhelming—strange, isn’t it? Even as I write this, I’m reflecting on how I got here.

On Juneteenth, my friend took her last breath here on earth. In July, my sweet granny passed away. Then, one year to the date after my granny’s death, my father-in-law died. My Lady’s birthday falls in July, but her death anniversary is on October 1st. A friend celebrated her birthday on October 6th, but she passed away on October 15th a few years ago. Although these deaths happened years ago, they feel like they just occurred yesterday.

In a crisis, I tend to be focused—quiet, but focused. I do what needs to be done, helping where I can. But it’s during the stillness of the night, when I’m not juggling multiple tasks, that everything shifts. It’s when I allow myself to be still that the grief and pain I’ve buried deep inside begin to surface.

I don’t like the silence.

It’s in that silence when I realize how much hurt and grief I’ve been holding in. My greatest fear is that if I stop, if I let myself feel, I’ll start crying and never stop. It’s difficult for me to reach out and be vulnerable, to cry in front of someone. I fear judgment, explaining myself, or making the pain I’ve held in feel too real once I speak it aloud.

Not long ago, I reached out to a friend. It felt strange. I had been alone that night, crying for hours. Then, I stopped and dialed her number. She’s the one person who rarely answers because she’s a busy mom with her own life, so I assumed she wouldn’t answer.

She answered.

No words came out of my mouth. All I did was cry. She listened and she didn’t ask questions or offer “it’ll be okay” statements. Honestly, she just listened to me cry. Afterward, I managed to say the many things that had been plaguing my heart. I didn’t want her to fix anything; I knew she couldn’t. All I needed was for her to listen and love me, without any judgment or unsolicited advice.

October 1st was another difficult day. I made it to work for about two hours before I couldn’t go any further. I left, called my mom, and pretended everything was fine, but she knew. She always knows. I kept the conversation together and then came home and slept.

Off to the Hills

I spent the rest of the day crying off and on, then called my mom again, asking if I could come over. She was busy but said she’d be home soon and I could come over then. I got in the car, feeling like I couldn’t breathe or hold it together. I told my husband I was leaving, not knowing when or if I’d be back that night.

It was a beautiful evening, so I rolled the windows down and drove. In the past, when we lived in our old house, I would go on drives like this to clear my head. There was no pressure to be a wife or a mom. I’d drive for hours, seeing new places, exploring new roads. Sometimes, a kid would join me, and we’d go on adventures. Once, I ended up in Dukedom, TN.

Visiting Granny

On that particular night, I drove on unfamiliar roads and ended up near Lovelaceville—close to my granny’s house. I took the “old way” and passed by the new houses. The familiar music stirred my emotions, and I cried even harder. Memories flooded back of driving down that road with her. My mind was a mess, and my body couldn’t hold back the tears.

I ended up at the cemetery where my granny, grandfather, uncle, aunt, and cousin are buried. I hadn’t been there in a long time. My heart longed for her presence—the wisdom she offered, the laughter she shared, the way she could solve my problems with a game of Scrabble, some juicy fruit gum, and a surprise bowl of ice cream.

Cortisol Break

I’m in the middle of a “cortisol break” as I sit here, tears dripping down my face. It’s a moment where the weight of everything comes rushing in, and I need time to collect myself.

I’ve been working through this for days, writing down my feelings. Right now, I’m listening to Made for More while holding onto the baby blanket my granny made for me. It’s my comfort—a kind of emotional support quilt. It’s full of holes, tears, and stains, but it’s mine. It makes me feel loved. It’s incredible how an object can do that.

Deafening Silence

The silence is the hardest part for me. It’s when the noise fades that the unresolved grief starts to surface. When my granny passed, I had just gained custody of two kids, only to lose her and them shortly after. When my father-in-law died, we hadn’t spoken for six months due to a misunderstanding. After LA passed, I couldn’t go to her funeral because my son needed chemotherapy. When my Lady died, my son was struggling with OMS, and my dad had a stroke, so I couldn’t process her death. And when Donna passed, that night was filled with pain in more ways than one.

There’s so much I’ve never processed, and the recent losses only add to it. If I could just trust in God’s faithfulness, maybe this pain wouldn’t feel so overwhelming. I know His word is true, and I do believe in it. But in my life, I struggle to see hope. I feel trapped, like I’m walking through mud. It’s hard to see a way out. If I don’t allow myself to feel, to sit in the silence and process, I don’t know what will happen. Maybe I’ll implode.

“Made For More”
(feat. Jenn Johnson)

I know who I am ’cause I know who You are.
The cross of salvation was only the start.
Now I am chosen, free and forgiven.
I have a future and it’s worth the living’.
Cause I wasn’t made to be tending a grave.
I was called by name.
Born and raised back to life again.
I was made for more.
So why would I make a bed in my shame.
When a fountain of grace is running my way.
I know I am Yours
And I was made for more.

Oh hallelujah.
You called out my name.
So I’ll sing out Your praise.
Hallelujah.
You buried my past
And I’m not going back.

 

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

Related Posts

Think Positive

Faith Journey, Quotes

Let Them by Cassie Phillips

Brandi C

Let Them by Cassie Phillips

Let Them by Cassie Phillips

 

Cassie Phillips poem, “Let Them” is a poem I read on social media. I first read it during a chaotic season in my life. Let’s be real—most days feel chaotic. I had just realized that some “friends” weren’t truly friends and that people can’t always be trusted. I already struggled with trust, but this became the last straw. People judge quickly without knowing all the details.

The truth is, unless someone shares your bed or eats every meal at your table, they don’t need to know the details. Frankly, it’s none of their business. I choose to make it their business, and by doing so, things get misunderstood.

Just Let Them

If they want to choose something over you, LET THEM.

If they want to go weeks without talking to you, LET THEM.

If they are okay with never seeing you, LET THEM.

If they are okay with always putting themselves first, LET THEM.

If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, LET THEM.

If they want to follow the crowd, LET THEM.

If they want to judge or misunderstand you, LET THEM.

If they act like they can live without you, LET THEM.

If they want to walk out of  your life and leave, hold the door open, AND LET THEM.

Let them lose you. You were never theirs, because you were always your own.

So let them.

Let them show you who they truly are, not tell you.

Let them prove how worthy they are of your time.

Let them earn your forgiveness.

Let them call you to talk about ordinary things.

Let them take you out on a Thursday.

Let them talk about anything and everything just because it’s you they are talking to.

Let them have a safe place in you.

Let them see the heart in you that didn’t harden.

Let them love you.

Author: Cassie Phillips

Thoughts

Geez, this strikes me on so many levels. It may not impact everyone the same way, and that’s okay. It reminds me of Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley. So much has happened over the last several years. Some have revealed their true colors, while others have stepped up with unwavering love and support. I pulled back, reflecting inward to see where I need to make changes. Slowly, I’m finding my way back to the surface, letting the Light shine on my face.

Remember, you can’t control the actions or thoughts of others. The only thing you can control is your reaction. Anxiety comes from fearing the future and the lack of control over it. Depression lingers in the sadness of what you can’t change from the past. Live in the present—moment by moment. Breathe in, breathe out. Your goal is to change the life of one person. What if that one person is you?

Related Posts

Welcome to Holland

 

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

What is and is Not in My Control

Brandi C

What is and is Not in My Control

What is and is Not in My Control

What is and is Not in My Control. I am a work in progress. Without hesitation, I can tell you that trying to control everything is 99.9% of my problem. Well, that and lack of trusting anyone…maybe that goes hand in hand, I don’t know. It’s a problem. I know that, get it, and respect it. There is a problem, and I am it.

What is IN My Control

  • my self-care
    • I get my hair done
    • Massages
    • Tattoos
    • Alone time at night
    • Reading
  • asking for help
    • Reaching out to family
    • Communicating with my husband and being vulnerable
    • Therapy
  • my decision
  • the friends I have
    • I don’t do this one well
  • my actions
    • I have apologized to those I need to
    • Forgiven most people, I need to
    • The Lord has made me HYPER aware
  • my boundaries
    • Hahahahaha
  • my thoughts
    • Oohhh…
  • my attitude
    • Well…
  • my words
    • Uhmmm…
  • what I say
    • Learning how to use them
    • Learning how to RESTRAIN from using them
    • Work in progress

OUT of My Control

  • who likes me
  • past mistakes
  • other’s feelings
  • what others think
  • other’s apologizing to me
  • other’s actions
  • what other people believe
  • weather
  • who loves me
  • other people’s time
  • someone else’s distraction

What is on Your List?

My struggle in the “out of my control” list is who likes me (why does this bother me so badly), past mistakes (I can’t forget), what others think of me, others’ actions, what other people believe, and who loves me. Those are my Achilles heel problems. What is on your list?

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Open Letter to A Brother Who Left This World Too Soon

Brandi C

Open Letter to A Brother Who Left This World Too Soon

In this Open Letter to A Brother Who Left This World Too Soon, my guest blogger remembers her brother, who died of cancer six years ago. What a thing for a family to go through. The loss of a child, grandchild, brother, and friend. He was a few days shy of turning 19 when he met Jesus.

Lord, bless this family. Bless them with peace and sweet memories as they navigate this difficult week as they remember this sweet boy. Please give them the knowledge that he is healthy and happy and hanging out with your Son, Jesus. He is waiting for them to all be reunited one day.

Open Letter to A Brother Who Left This World Too Soon

 

Dear Z,

It has almost been six years without you, and I don’t feel it has gotten any easier. This wound is taking forever to heal. I miss you so much, and naturally, I wish you were here with me. This is my least favorite time of year. I know you are watching over me and taking care of me. 

I Wish You Could Answer Me

I’d give anything to have one final conversation with you or give you one last hug. If I could go back and change things, I would. I would have stayed by your side through it all. I think about that all the time. Does it make me a bad sister for leaving you there? I could have taken whatever our stepfather threw at me to stay with you.

Missing All The Things

My mom told me a few years ago that you asked for me every day. You asked when I was coming back from dad’s. You know I like to take care of people. I took care of you for the longest time. Honestly, I miss waking up at 3 in the morning to refill your feeding pump. I miss helping you walk around, even though you protested the entire time. For six years, I have been waiting for you to appear in front of me. To give me a chance to tell you my final goodbye. To tell you I loved you just one more time. 

It Hasn’t Happened, so I’ll Keep Waiting.

I think I can finally start to let go of the regret I’ve had for the past six years. It’s time. You know I love you more than words could ever describe. I know your biggest fear of death was being forgotten, but you are unforgettable. You made an impact on everyone’s life. I will never forget you or the things you did for me. 

You were one of my best friends. I promise you my kids will know what a fantastic man you were. They will know how strong you were and how hard you fought. They will know that you are my hero, and I aspire to be as strong and brave as you were. 

After Six Years, I Can Let You Go and Let You Rest in Peace

That doesn’t mean I will forget about you. It means I don’t have to worry about you hating me for leaving. I know you loved me as much as I loved you. I know you weren’t upset about us leaving Mom. I’m just upset she wouldn’t let you stay with us. 

I am letting go of my regret because it wasn’t my fault you got sick. Honestly, I was a child, and I know it wasn’t my responsibility to take care of you. I am moving on and trying to start the new year off right. Thankfully, I know you will be with me and watching over me every step.

Love,

S

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

I Am Who I Am

Brandi C

I Am Who I Am

I Am Who I Am

Being who I am that I do not have many friends. It is hard for me to open up to other people because of how often I have been used. Also, for being backstabbed by these so-called “friends.” My circle of friends is tiny due to this issue I have had in the past. 

I have maybe four close friends who care about me and my well-being. I would do anything for them. Honestly, I am loyal to the end. I find it hard to let go, especially when potential long-lasting friendships end. I also tend to take on my friends’ problems. Sadly, I claim that I am the cause of their issues. I will just as quickly take the blame for everything rather than have them take responsibility. 

This One “Friend”

This one “friend” is currently my co-worker and, unfortunately, my neighbor. The first night shift we worked together, we instantly clicked. We became comfortable with each other, which is incredibly rare for me. As the days went on, we constantly texted about work and life. We would hang out at my place and watch movies on our days off. His friends and family became comfortable with me as we continued to hang out. Working together was a blast since we got along, and the kids enjoyed it when we both worked on the same day.

Tragic Event

He was always there for me when I needed him. There was a massive party at the apartment where I used to live. There were easily at least 200+ party-goers. Having a party, this size goes against the contract of the apartment complex. Unfortunately, the party got out of hand. There was a tragic event that turned the party into a nightmare. 

My anxiety was at an all-time high, and I needed to get out of there. My friend came to rescue me as quickly as he could. He was so understanding and was there to help distract me from this event. My friend insisted that I did not return to my apartment until things calmed down and the police finished their investigations.

Maude, My Orphan Kitty

My friend also supported me when my little orphan kitten died that I was trying to bottle feed after her mom rejected her. I stayed up late at night and took that little kitten with me literally everywhere, we eventually had a routine, and I was so proud of how she was progressing. I do not do well when animals die, especially if I am the one dedicated to their health and well-being. The baby passed away, and I was heartbroken. My friend was with me, and he took the kitten and buried her for me since I could not do it myself. 

I Told Him Everything

We did not have secrets, and we knew each other pretty well. My ‘friend’ was concerned for my mental health and physical health since the job profession we work in is extremely taxing for someone with mental health issues. I was grateful to have someone to talk to who has some of the same problems that I struggle with daily. This person was the true definition of an absolute best friend, or so I thought. 

We did not date even though he admitted having feelings for me that I could not reciprocate for personal reasons. But we remained best friends for a long time, that is, until his current girlfriend came back into his life. They had dated once in the past. I was supportive. I still wanted to hang out with him, and I also wanted to get to know his girlfriend because I was trying to be supportive of their relationship. 

All of a Sudden

He stopped talking to me, and he did not use text or call me at all. I had no clue what I did wrong to make him not talk to me because we spent almost every day together. Things just got worse from that point. I tried to talk to him, but he refused to acknowledge my existence and futile attempts to get him to speak to me. 

I admitted to him that I was jealous that he spent every day with his new girlfriend and that she moved in with him only two weeks after their dating. Not jealous in the love sort of way but jealous that my best friend put all of his attention on just his girlfriend and nobody else. 

Then One Night

One night I was walking my dog, and he was outside on his back patio with his sister and girlfriend. I did not say a single word to him. He shouted from his yard that he needed to say something to me and let me have it. He told me never to talk to his friends or family again and that if I had something to say, I should say it to his face. 

Instantly I got defensive and shouted back an obscene comment while rushing back to my apartment. Granted, I should have handled that situation with better decorum, but I was unprepared for that verbal attack. This ‘friend’ would text me nasty things, and his girlfriend even got in on the action and told me to stop talking to her boyfriend or things would get worse for me. I did not know how to handle this situation, so I ignored him. 

My Depression and Anxiety

My depression was through the roof, and my anxiety about the whole scenario kept my mind running in 20 different directions. My ‘friend’ drunk-dialed me one night, and I just broke down and told him everything I felt and how betrayed I felt about the whole situation. He blamed me for his drinking and dipping problem, and he said that I was the one that caused drama between him and his friends and family. Being the person I am, I claimed his problems as my own. I honestly believed that our entire friendship had been some one-way street and that I had caused all his problems. 

Eventually

After we were mature and decided to end our silly feud when we would work together, he started talking to me more, and we fell back into our usual best friend ways. He said that his girlfriend did not like me, and she did not like the fact that we would hang out all the time and text each other constantly. I told him that if she was threatened by me trying to “break up their relationship,” I could never do that to someone. I’m not that kind of person. And I reiterated that I will still support and care about him because he played a part in my life whether I wanted it to happen or not.

I Missed my Best Friend

I told him I missed my best friend, and I honestly did. I missed the days we would hang out together, be goofy, and have fun with our two dogs. The thing is, is that I hold onto the people that come into my life. I try to make any situation better by offering to help however I can at the time. My friend kept in contact with me, but we never actually hung out except when we worked together at the boy’s house. He fell into a bad depressive state, and I tried my best to be there for him since I know how rough it can be when you get in that depressive state. 

One Random Night

His girlfriend added me on Snapchat and sent me a message. I dreaded opening it because I hated confrontation. We talked for a long time, and we were okay. I explained that I did not have feelings for him other than feelings of being a best friend and that I was not trying to break up their relationship. I called my friend and told him what she said and how everything was good between us again. Everything was fine for the next two weeks. 

Enter My Mom

One day my mom came over to visit me, and she wanted to introduce herself to my boys and my friend since I had already told her about him. All she did was shake his hand and introduce herself. Two days later, I got the most hateful message from him early in the morning. He accused my mom and me of trying to start drama and said she came to his house unannounced. I was confused and hurt by all the hateful things sent to me.

Horribly Bullying

He called me a crazy psycho manipulative bitch and that he never wanted to see my face ever again. We were NEVER friends, the exact words that were texted to me. That was along with some other things I will not mention. I was at work at the time, so I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom to cry and then compose myself the best I could. My hands were shaking, and I could feel my blood pressure rising with each nasty message. I was confused, hurt, and betrayed, and I seriously started believing everything he was saying to me.

Is This a Joke?

I honestly thought at first that it was a joke. That wasn’t him because my best friend would never say things like that to me. I profusely apologized even though I did nothing wrong, but he did not believe me. He said that I was not innocent and that I thought that I had never done anything wrong. I allowed myself to be sad for a little while. Then I had to get over it and finish out my shift so I could go home. Why? 

Seriously, Why me? 

Why do I always get into situations with people betraying me and my trust? I love fiercely, and I am loyal to the end. I would never do anything to hurt my friend. But he hurt me. He hurt me so badly that I felt like my chest would rip open. I was miserable for the next week or two. His friends would always come at me and send me nasty messages. I just took it all on my shoulders like I usually do. 

I need to stop doing things like that.

And that doesn’t make me a bad person. I am allowed to have feelings. To be sad and mourn my best friend, who I somehow alienated in my life. After I attended a church sermon one day, my pastor said something that resonated with me. It probed me to remember how badly he hurt me. He said that even though someone might have done us wrong, we must forgive. Also, pray that God will bless their lives abundantly. 

I started to cry thinking about all my past friendships that crashed and burned for whatever reason it was at the time. Then, I sent every single one of my so-called “friends” a message. It was a ‘to the point’ message which said exactly what I wanted to say. I did this in a kind and Christ-Like manner. I do not know if any of my friends even read that message. At least I sent it to them and forgave them.

Message to my “Friend”

I still see my neighbor around, and I also see him at work. Today, I will choose kindness. Also, I will choose to love still (as a friend). Furthermore, I will care about him even though it is hard. I will decide to make friends if God brings them into my life. Also, I will still love and be loyal to them no matter what comes my way. 

And to my friend, even though he says we are not friends, I hope you have a fruitful life. That you and your girlfriend are happy together is all I ever wanted for you. I want you to be happy and successful. Even if that means our friendship is at an end. That’s okay. I will be okay. Because my heart belongs to God, and I believe in his everlasting love for me.

 Related Posts

Preconceived Notions: More Than Meets the Eye

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Powerful Note to Self

Brandi C

This Powerful Note to Self is by a guest blogger working through some intense emotions and trauma. Remember, if you are a survivor of anything….it is NOT your fault! That can be hard to believe, especially if you struggle with implicit memories and cannot remember.

Implicit memories are memories that are from conception to three years of age. However, explicit memories are from the age of three until the present moment. Those are the memories that you can pull from and have validation. Implicit memories are ones you “feel.” They, to me, are harder to process and reconcile.

Sadly, any type of sexual abuse or molestation is devastating. It can take years to heal. Honestly, it may never heal this side of heaven. That is something that I’ve had to settle within myself to process things. My guest blogger is deep in the trenches. I am so proud of what she is doing to get help.

Powerful Note to Self

Powerful Note to Self

Note to self

This is not your fault

You are not the one who made the choice

All you did was follow a voice

A voice of someone you were supposed to trust.

Someone everyone else said you could trust

Not Your Fault

It’s not your fault

that you are scared to love

Or scared to be loved

{Or} that you are afraid to be touched.

Stating Truth

If anything it is his fault

He chose to hurt you

and He chose to betray your innocent trust

He chose to do the unthinkable

and steal the innocence that you shouldn’t have lost

Stop!

so stop blaming yourself for his mistakes

you were not and are not at fault.

You didn’t make those choices

So stop claiming it as yours

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

The Healing Process

Brandi C

In the last part of my guest blogger’s piece, she talks about The Healing Process.  What she has gone through and how she came to peace.  God is so much bigger!

The Healing Process

Remembering Little Details of What Happened

 

Some people might think I am making this big deal of being cheated on by a boyfriend. Sadly, women get cheated on, which is typical in our society. But it’s different. And yet, I don’t think I forgave him, truly forgave him, until a few weeks ago when I attended church with my family and heard my Pastor’s sermon. I sent him a short and to-the-point message saying that I forgave him and would pray that his life would be abundantly blessed in everything he tried. That was hard for me to write. Especially considering that he might not have even read the message in the first place since he blocked me off everything. 

 

The Healing Process

 

But for me, that is part of the healing process. I don’t hate my ex. Honestly, I choose to remember the good things about our relationship rather than focus on the bad stuff. I need to move forward and be patient enough to wait for God’s perfect man for me in the future. It could be a few days from now or possibly years from now. But I am choosing to be patient and wait for my lifelong partner. And I will continue to pray for him and that he finds his perfect partner. We might not have had the best relationship in the world, but he was still a part of my life, and I will never be rid of those good and bad memories. 

 

Advice

 

You have to choose yourself. You have to help those girls and women who have been cheated on by their significant other. Others are in those not-so-good relationships. If you see a red flag, then get out. Please don’t do what I did and settle for someone who is not your person. It is not worth the heartache and days of tears that will possibly be in your future. 

I might be young, and my experience might not have much meaning, but it is my life. I chose not to settle. And I like being single. Sure, it’s lonely sometimes, but you truly learn who you are and what your personality is like when you are by yourself. Love you. Take care of yourself. Don’t settle. He is not a monster, but he was not mine forever. 

And for the first time in a long time, I am okay with that.