Tag: Therapy

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Faith Journey

Be Kind to Your Mind

Brandi C

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Be Kind to Your Mind

We often hear the phrase be kind to others, but how often do we practice kindness toward ourselves—especially our minds? The way we think, the words we speak to ourselves, and the care we give our mental well-being all matter. Your mind deserves kindness, too.

Life can be overwhelming, and our thoughts can easily become filled with worry, self-doubt, and negativity. But just as we nurture our bodies with food and rest, we must nurture our minds with grace, patience, and care. You are not your mistakes. You are not your struggles and you are worthy of peace.

So how do you show kindness to your mind?

  1. Speak to yourself with love. Replace self-criticism with encouragement. Instead of “I’m failing,” try “I’m learning.” Instead of “I’m not enough,” remind yourself “I am doing my best, and that is enough.”
  2. Take breaks without guilt. Rest is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. Your mind needs time to recharge, just like your body.
  3. Set boundaries. Protect your peace by limiting negativity, whether it’s toxic relationships, social media, or overworking yourself.
  4. Seek help when needed. There is strength in asking for support. Whether through prayer, therapy, or trusted friends, you don’t have to carry everything alone.
  5. Fill your mind with good things. Read, listen, and surround yourself with positivity. What you feed your mind shapes how you feel.

You are worthy of love, including the love you give yourself. So be kind to your mind. Give it rest. Give it grace. And remind yourself daily: you are doing better than you think.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

It is Okay to Ask for Help

Brandi C

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It Is Okay to Ask for Help

Somewhere along the way, we’ve been told that asking for help is a sign of weakness. That struggling alone is more admirable than admitting we need support. But that’s a lie. Asking for help is not weakness—it’s courage.

Life can be overwhelming. Some days feel heavier than others, and no matter how strong you are, you weren’t meant to carry it all alone. You don’t have to pretend you’re okay when you’re not. It’s okay to say, “I need help.” Whether that means reaching out to a friend, a therapist, a loved one, or even just admitting to yourself that things feel hard right now—it all matters.

Maybe you’re afraid of being a burden. But listen—you are not a burden. The people who love you want to be there for you. And if you don’t have that support system yet, there are people out there who care, who will listen, and who want to help. You are not alone in this.

Small steps count. Maybe today, “asking for help” looks like texting a friend, scheduling an appointment, or simply letting yourself acknowledge that you don’t have to do everything on your own. That is enough.

You are worthy of support. You deserve kindness, including from yourself. And no matter what your anxious thoughts tell you, you are never too much, never too broken, and never beyond help.

Let’s normalize asking for what we need. Let’s remind each other that strength is found in connection. And let’s keep fighting the darkness—together.

💛 You are not alone. Keep going.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, Faith Journey

Preconceived Notions: More Than Meets the Eye

Brandi C

Preconceived Notions: More Than Meets the Eye

i’m not interested in whether you’ve stood with the great; i’m interested in whether you’ve sat with the broken.

Preconceived notions—they’re something, aren’t they?

I remember walking into my clinic one day and feeling every set of eyes on me. At my previous job, I was required to dress professionally for my outpatient clients. But I also worked as a therapist in a 30-day inpatient residential treatment facility. Two vastly different worlds, yet I had learned how to balance both.

That particular day, I had outpatient clients to see, but I also needed to check in on anywhere from 7 to 16 inpatient clients. As I walked into the clinic to pull a client, I saw the looks—“You are not one of us.” I get that a lot.

That day, I was in my professional attire, wearing a wig (I lost my hair when I started this job), makeup, and jewelry. I looked the part, but inside, I was screaming. My outside didn’t match my inside.

I pulled my client aside, and her expression said it all—disdain, skepticism, judgment. She didn’t hold back, either. “You’re judging me in your fancy clothes and dolled-up hair,” she said.

As she talked, I quietly started removing my jewelry. Then my sweater, revealing my tattoos. I wiped off my makeup. And finally, I pulled off my wig and casually hung it on my boss’s computer.

The shock on her face was priceless.

In that moment, I saw her walls come down. I shared a bit of my own story, and I watched her eyes well with tears. She looked at me, softer now, and said, “You are one of us.”

Friends, we are all the same. We all bleed when we’re cut. We all turn to dust when we die. And we are all one bad decision away from destruction. She thought I was judging her based on my appearance, but in reality, I was simply wearing what my job required. And in return, she judged me for it.

But when I looked into her eyes, I didn’t see her past, her mistakes, or her circumstances—I saw brokenness, sadness, despair, and pain.

So there we were, sitting across from each other, makeup-free, hairless, raw, and real. I reached across the desk and held her hands. Tears fell from both of our eyes as I told her:

You are worthy. You are enough. Honestly, you deserve the life you dream of, and you can have it—one step at a time.

That moment changed me. It reminded me that the Lord is not done with any of us. There is hope and no one should ever treat you as “less than” because you, too, are a child of the King.

Reach Out

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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What Do You Want To Do?

Brandi C

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What Do You Want To Do?

This is a question that I would pose to my ladies when I worked as the inpatient residential therapist, “What do you want to do when you grow up?”. They would come to our facility, at their lowest of lows, broken with little hope. My job was to give them the hard core facts but to lace it with beauty and hope.

When I asked this question (with ladies between the ages of 18 and 70), they would just look at me with wide eyes. For a moment, there was a world that they could become anything they wanted to be. Some ladies wanted to be moms, others wanted to work in the field of addiction, some wanted to be therapists, nurses, work in retail, the answers varied from person to person.

Facts

Here is a fact that most people don’t like. Every single person is one bad decision away from complete devastation in their lives. Everyone. The ladies I worked with, they made that decision and their lives were turned upside down and inside out. Here is the beauty. There is ALWAYS hope. Tomorrow is fresh and new. Each person can take the brokenness of life and create something beautiful out of it.

What are the pieces of your life that are broken? Is there something, out of that brokenness, that you can create and make something beautiful out of it? If you see a pitcher…like to hold water. The job of that pitcher is to hold liquid for drinks, possible put flowers in it but it has a purpose, right?

What happens when there is a crack in that pitcher or if the handle broke off of it or even if someone dropped it and it shattered all over the floor. Typically, one would sweep up the shards of glass and throw it away. What if…just what if, you took the shards and brokenness and did something besides throw it away.

What if you took a canvas, slathered it with glue and created a beautiful mosaic with those broken pieces and you hung up that creation in your house. That pitcher will no longer hold water but the beauty of the sun shining on the different colors of glass will be stunning. You took what was broken and created beauty out of it.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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What is a Traumaversary?

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, Faith Journey

What is a Traumaversary?

Brandi C

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What is a Traumaversary?

A traumaversary is the anniversary of some sort of trauma in your life. It can be from a deployment, abuse, car accident, traumatic pregnancy/birth, house fires, neglect… the list can go on and on. You aren’t obsessing over all the bad things that happened in your life. It is simply something that you haven’t resolved and your body keeps the score.

Symptoms of a traumaversary can vary from sadness, anger (another topic for another day), anxiety, hypervigilance, insomnia or hypersomnia, flashbacks, nightmares, guilt, and even can manifest itself in a physical illness. The book, The Body Keeps the Score is not a fun read but it is interesting and it does drive home these concepts. 

I explain it to people who have never heard this word before in a way that it is easy to understand. When they call me for an appointment, they are usually in some sort of acute stress. When we get to talking, I ask if they remember feeling this way at the same time, every year. 9/10 times, they do feel the same way and they can’t figure it out.
When we get to digging, there is usually something that occurred, way back when, that their body is remembering/reacting to even though they hadn’t cognitively thought about that issue since it occurred. They pushed it WAY down and stuffed it away. However, their body remembers.
There are ways to cope. First, acknowledge the event and that it no longer has power over you. Talking it out…not talking it to death over and over again but just one time from start to finish. When you get the thoughts out of your head through tears, snot, words, or writing…it releases it from captivity in your brain. Again, you are not giving it power over you. A lot of times, just talking it out and saying it out loud to another set of ears releases you from that bondage.
Every person wants to be seen, heard, and, validated in their experiences. When they are, it releases you from the prison that the trauma has placed you in. I want you to remember that you are normal. There is nothing wrong with you. Have grace and compassion with yourself, practice self-care, do something for others, or just take a nap or long shower.
You are not alone. Knowledge is power. You are no longer a slave to your past. Plant your feet firmly in the present and look towards your future. That is where hope lives.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Just a Funny for the Day

Brandi C

Just a Funny for the Day

Just a Funny for the Day

Here is just a funny for the day. I look at this picture and when I am in session, as the therapist, I can very much separate all the parts and create individual balls of yarn for my client. However, when it is time for me to be the client, the roles are reversed because I cannot unwind my own balls of yarn. Weird how that happens but thankful for my, personal, therapist!

On a side note: Happiest of birthdays to my favorite daughter-in-law, Margaret! Much love to you, sweet girl.

💛 If you’re navigating life’s hard places and need a safe space to heal, grow, or just breathe—Circle of Hope Counseling Services is here for you.

We offer trauma-informed, faith-filled therapy for individuals, couples, and families.

📞 Reach out today to schedule your first session (KY residents only) or learn more: Circle of Hope Counseling Services.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Hope starts here.

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Psychogenic Itching

Brandi C

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Psychogenic Itching: What It Is and How It Affects Us

Yes, Psychogenic itching is a real thing, and I didn’t even realize that was what was happening to me until recently. As a therapist, I am constantly learning—whether through trainings, observing other therapists, from clients, or personal experiences.

A few years ago, I tried EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy. I wanted to experience it before getting trained myself, so I could fully understand what I was asking of my clients. However, my experience with EMDR was not great. I had some things I couldn’t remember, and EMDR was recommended to help with that.

EMDR Session One

I had already completed the initial screening, so I skipped that part and moved straight to the tappers. There are several different methods of EMDR, but the tappers resonated with me the most. For the first session, I was instructed to go to my first and worst memory. I did so in a dark room, guided by a therapist, with my eyes closed and the tappers in hand. However, my mind didn’t go to the memory I expected. Instead, it went to something completely different, and I began randomly itching during the process.

The session was mentally and emotionally exhausting. Afterward, I went home and slept for 12 straight hours. This is not unusual for me after intense therapy, but the itching continued once I got home.

EMDR Session Two

In my second session, I started itching as soon as I pulled into the parking lot. I didn’t think much of it at first—after all, I have allergies. However, when the session started, I noticed the itching became more frequent and intense. Even the therapist noticed. My mind was fighting the memories, the exhaustion was setting in, and the itching continued to worsen. At one point, feeling overwhelmed, I threw the tappers to the floor and told the therapist I was done. This was less than five minutes after we began.

The therapist was shocked by my reaction and just as confused as I was. She was young, new to EMDR, and I wasn’t an easy client. It wasn’t an ideal situation for either of us.

EMDR Session Three

By the third session, the itching had escalated. I was already breaking out in hives by the time I arrived at the session. I told my therapist that we would not be doing EMDR but instead needed to address the issue of my itching. She said she had never encountered anything like this and would need to consult with her supervisor before proceeding.

We spent the rest of the session processing and talking things through. At the end of the day, her supervisor didn’t have any answers either. My case was beyond her scope, so she referred me to someone with more experience. And that marked the end of my EMDR experience. While it works for some people, it wasn’t the right fit for me, and I decided it’s not something I will pursue or train in.

Itching

Psychogenic itching is rare and not often diagnosed. It is also poorly understood by the medical community. This type of itching is brought on by psychological distress such as anxiety, stress, depression, or OCD. The sensation of itching is triggered by mental and emotional strain, and it tends to subside once you calm down.

For me, the itching became more intense when I was under a lot of stress. There were times when I experienced hives or welps on my skin as a physical reaction to anxiety, but my hives didn’t itch. However, when I am completely overwhelmed, my whole body itches, I feel heat in my chest and face, and hives start to appear. I also experience stomach issues and sometimes even feel nauseous. My psoriasis flares up as well, and I currently have patches on my face and legs.

You Are Not Crazy

If you experience something similar, you are not crazy. You are simply going through a tough time. Remember that there are things you can do to calm yourself down and manage the symptoms:

  • Take a cool shower

  • Take a nap

  • Drink cold water

  • Eat a protein snack

  • Get some exercise

  • Stand in the sun

  • Do something relaxing

  • Take your medication as prescribed

  • Talk to your counselor, therapist, or medical professional

You are not alone, and you are not abnormal. We all face difficult situations, and while we can’t control the actions of others, we can control our own reactions. Imagine yourself with a hula hoop around you. Whatever you can fit inside the hula hoop is within your control. If something is outside of your hula hoop, walk away. It’s not your circus, and they are not your monkeys.

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Dare to Step Out of Your Box and Live

Brandi C

dare

Dare to Step Out of Your Box and Live

I recently came across a piece of content by Luke Mind Power that really resonated with me. He shares empowering messages about self-love, positive thinking, and believing in yourself. Honestly, I need that kind of encouragement right now. His encouragement was to Dare to Step Out of Your Box and Live.

This season of life has been incredibly difficult for me. I feel exhausted. As I’ve shared in recent posts, I’ve withdrawn into myself to preserve what little sanity I have left. Everyone reaches their breaking point at different times, and we all handle situations uniquely. What I’ve been through feels traumatic to me, but for others, it might seem like a walk in the park—and vice versa. People cope with challenges differently.

Perspective

I don’t share a lot of personal details because, often, I get unsolicited advice and “I would” statements. I appreciate that people mean well, but in my mind, I think, “Let’s hope you’re never in my situation, but if you are, I’m sure you ‘would’ do this or that.” Right now, we are choosing to make decisions that feel right for us. We are literally living moment by moment. If the choices we make don’t sit well with someone else, that’s their problem, not ours. We might have made the wrong decisions, but we’re doing the best we can.

It’s exhausting to try to navigate life, make decisions, confide in others, get advice, and follow it, only to find ourselves in a tough situation. This cycle of self-doubt—wondering if things would be different if I had listened to someone else—has to stop.

In my heart, I know that we are loved and prayed for. I understand that people want to help or fix the situation, and that’s natural. No one likes to see someone in pain, and I respect that. But here’s the thing—please only give advice when it’s asked for. As a therapist, I’m aware that this advice-giving behavior is a bit of an oxymoron.

Dare

This brings me back to the theme of the TikTok I saw, which struck a deep chord with me. I want to live by it, to the best of my ability:

“Dedicate the next 6 months exclusively to my goals. No announcements, just fall back, and do the work. It’s me versus me this time. Stay in my lane. There is no traffic and no competition. I can do this. Write my goals down, create a vision of where I want to be, and take action. Shut my mouth, don’t talk about it, just let my success be my noise. My mind is a powerful thing. I’ll start using it to my advantage. When I fill it with positivity, my life will change. My time is now, no more excuses. I can’t keep getting mad at people for sucking the life out of me if I keep giving them the straw. It’s time for me to grow.”

Drop the Mic

Doesn’t that just hit? That line—“I can’t keep getting mad at people for sucking the life out of me if I keep giving them the straw”—is the one that needs to be tattooed on my forearm so I can see it every day. Seriously, I might ask one of my daughters to write it on a canvas and hang it up in both of my offices.

I hope my girls are reading this! If so, I need one of those for the house and one for each of my offices. My clients need to hear that too! Now, I need to process and think. Maybe a blog series about this in the future? I’m not sure, but if I do, it’ll be after I’ve spent the next six months focusing on my own goals and staying quiet.

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Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Faith Journey

Breathing in Hope as I Navigate Rough Waters

Brandi C

Breathing in Hope as I Navigate Rough Waters

Breathing in Hope as I Navigate Rough Waters

The past few years have been filled with so many challenges that it’s difficult to even begin to describe everything I’ve been through. I was talking with my therapist recently, and she often asks me, “What would you tell your client?” For me, answering that is easy:

  • Beauty is always in the ashes.

  • You are worthy.

  • This too shall pass (like a kidney stone).

  • You are enough.

  • The trauma that you have stored in your TNT box needs to be talked about and processed in order for you to heal. Then, it will just be a crappy memory that doesn’t trigger strong emotions like depression or anxiety.

She often asks me why I don’t listen to my own advice.

Trauma

Trauma is a word I don’t use lightly. In therapy, we talk about little ‘t’ trauma and big ‘T’ trauma, but honestly, it all hurts. Without the tools to process what’s happened, you’re left struggling with depression (where you can’t control the past) or anxiety (where you can’t control the future). In either case, you can’t live fully in the present.

Today, my supervisor asked me to think about a triangle: your thoughts dictate your emotions, which in turn affect your behavior.

For me, what I’ve been through doesn’t feel like trauma. I hear trauma stories all day, and they break my heart. There are days when all I want to do is rock a client and bake them cookies, letting them know they’re seen, heard, validated, and loved. But when I told my therapist I didn’t think trauma was part of my story, she laughed at me. “These are just things that have happened,” I said. “Do I deal with them well? No.”

This Last Round of Gross

This season has tipped me to the edge of my sanity. I’ve dealt with severe depression, moderate depression, anxiety, or a combination of both, but this time it’s been mostly depression. One hit after another—some significant, some minor, and others so tiny they’re the straw that broke the camel’s back.

During this season, I’ve been quiet. I deleted my social media, removed numbers from my phone, screened calls, and withdrew into myself. I never meant to isolate, but I’m so depressed that I don’t want to “infect” anyone else with my heaviness.

Life Keeps Moving

I still do all the things—work, cook, clean, be a grandparent, manage the home, etc. It all gets done. My sister left me a voicemail recently, saying she’d been asking my mom about me and giving me space, but now enough was enough. She told me to call, text, or answer the phone at least twice a week, and that we weren’t going to talk about my hurt unless I wanted to. We were just going to touch base.

In my sadness, I didn’t even realize people noticed. My daughter made some comments about my silence, but I didn’t fully understand what she meant because I rarely go a day without talking to her. A friend at church apologized for not reaching out. I told her I was fine (lie), but she said, “I know how you get when you go quiet.”

Those Statements Made Me Realize

Though I feel alone, I’ve been reminded that there are people who love me and would listen if I called to cry or vent. I just don’t want to impose or make people feel like they have to fix what’s going on in my world. No one can fix it. What’s broken is beyond repair. But their love and support give me hope. Hope that one day, things will be okay. Hope that I am loved and not alone. I have hope that there is a tomorrow. Hope that I have people who are willing to hold me up when I can’t stand on my own.

Hope is a powerful thing. Today, I am hopeful. Yesterday, I was not, and tomorrow is still a mystery. Mentally and emotionally, I am still not okay. There’s a lot on my heart and mind. Decisions need to be made, conversations need to happen, and the things troubling me are still there.

But here I am, still breathing and holding onto hope. Understanding that trauma is different for everyone, but it does not have to dictate my life. It’s simply a crimson thread woven throughout my tapestry. We all carry some trauma, but when processed properly, it can just be a blip on the radar—not a tsunami of epic proportions.

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Guest Blogger

Life Happens. Here’s How To Cope

Brandi C
Life Happens. Here’s How To Cope
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Life Happens. Here’s How To Cope

 

Life Happens. Here’s How To Cope. Life sometimes throws unexpected curveballs at us. We never know what’s just around the corner, whether it’s losing a job to being diagnosed with a new health condition. Fortunately, there are ways that Barefoot Faith Journey presents some examples of major life changes. This article offers a few quick bits of advice on what you might do when facing them.

 

Starting a New Business

 

If you’ve recently lost your job and decided that entrepreneurship was the path for you, congratulations. Not only are you facing adversity with a positive mindset, but you’re also on the most feasible path to gaining personal wealth. One quick tip to help this process is to form a limited liability company (LLC).

 

An LLC is a limited liability company, which reduces the chances of your personal assets being seized if your business gets sued. It’s a fairly flexible structure that you can file on your own using an online formation service. The online formation service will also have local laws and regulations around business formation.  All of this is located in one convenient place for you to research.

 

The Death of a Spouse

 

Losing a spouse, especially when you have been together for decades, is a horribly painful loss to endure. In fact, it is so painful that 66% of people risk dying within 90 days after the loss of their partner, explains the National Council on Aging. Although the grief may feel unbearable, your purpose does not have to end at this tragic moment. Talk with friends and family. You can also celebrate the memories you shared, and do things that are right for you. This can mean moving or dating once again, when the time is right.

 

New Health Condition

 

Every day, millions of Americans are diagnosed with new health conditions, such as heart disease, diabetes, or cancer. There are many ways to cope with these, and it starts with understanding your condition. Next, set up a support network, create realistic goals for yourself, and focus on what you can do instead of what you can’t. You might also talk to your doctor about taking health supplements that can help with fatigue, brain fog, and more.

 

Having a Baby

 

You have likely heard people say that having a baby changes everything. However, you have no idea how true this is until you have that adorable little wrinkled bundle safe and sound in their crib home. The Baby Chick blog explains having a baby causes you to worry more, and you may experience changes within your relationship.

 

While many of the changes you’ll experience as a new parent are positive, you may also experience exhaustion and, in some cases, postpartum depression. Look for ways to get enough sleep, create a support network, and make healthy lifestyle changes, such as eating well and exercising.

 

It’s also common to feel like a stranger in your own body, as it may look and feel different than before your pregnancy. One way that you can focus on feeling and looking your best is to buy new clothes. Look for comfortable clothes that don’t sacrifice style, such as leggings, versatile dresses, and a flirty yet comfortable nightgown. Indeed, this may work to help you cope with caring for your new baby.

 

Losing Your Home

 

Whether it’s from fire, foreclosure, or some other unforeseeable event, losing your home is devastating. Similar to losing a loved one, you’re likely to experience grief, confusion, anger, and many other feelings. But you must accept that it’s time to start over and move on. Remember, you can’t bring back the past, but you can create a new future for yourself.

 

Supporting Your Mental Health

 

Each of these situations (and others not listed) will put your mental health at risk. There are some situationally-specific strategies you can use, but there are also more generalized ways to cope with grief, depression, and hopelessness. First and foremost, seek professional help. Therapy is nothing to be ashamed of and should be used anytime you need someone to talk to, especially after a big change.

 

Then, add small things to your daily activities that will help you to move out of your grief and depression. Being out in nature has been shown to reduce feelings of anxiety and depression, so take a walk or start a garden. You can visit https://homegardenhero.com/ for simple home gardening tips, including what to grow in your area.

 

Make time for the people you love – and who love you – even when you don’t feel like being social. Simply getting out of the house for lunch or coffee can make a big difference in your mental health, and each visit with loved ones will remind you that you are supported and loved.

 

Take Small Steps to Manage Challenging Situations

 

While no one has a crystal ball to know what will happen in the future, it pays to be mentally prepared for the unexpected. This doesn’t mean that you sit around and fixate on what might be, only that you know your options when facing a crisis. For some comfort and distraction, read more engaging posts on the Barefoot Faith Journey blog!

 

From starting a new business after losing the job to dealing with the lack of sleep that comes with having a new baby or learning how to manage diabetes or other conditions, today’s tips are a great quick reference guide that can help you maintain control during the chaos.

 

From unique recipes to inspirational topics, Barefoot Faith Journey has something for you.

Faith Journey, Medical, Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome

Let Us Marinate

Brandi C

Let Us Marinate

Let Us Marinate

 

Let Us Marinate on the picture. Open it up, enlarge it and just look. This canvas is a 16×20, and there is NO room left to put ANY type of bead. Beads of Courage is defined as “Every time a bead is given, courage is honored, suffering is alleviated, resilience is strengthened, and the experience of human caring is affirmed. Every Bead of Courage Program integrates the use of beads, the earliest art form known to humans, as visible, tangible symbols of human experiences that need and deserve to be expressed.”

This is my youngest son’s canvas of all of his beads. We kept them, for the longest time, on strings. The strings didn’t hold up, so we were able to get 2 beautifully hand-crafted wooden boxes that were overflowing. So, one day, I thought…let’s see what I can come up with. What I ignored was the WEIGHT of this thing. There is no way a nail can hold this thing up. We may have to prop it up or use 2 nails and a wire…it is heavy!

Each Bead

You will notice that there are different types of beads. Each bead is indicative of a procedure/therapy/accomplishment/etc. that the child has done. I will say, H did not earn any beads for the first 3 years of his disease. This was because BOC was a program for terminally ill children or children with cancer. I believe there was also, at his hospital, a cardiac program. When we moved hospitals, the requirements changed. Now, BOC includes those children/young adults with life-altering conditions. So, these are the beads he has earned in the last 2 years. Can you even imagine if we were to go back and get them for the first 3 years??!!

Oval Type Beads

Orange (too many to count)

Central Line (PICC), Broviac, Port, Midline, IJ, Pheresis Catheter Placement & Removal

Blue (too many to count)

Clinic Visit

Dark Green (0)

Dialysis, TPN, NPO

Gray (too many to count)

Dressing Change, Central Line, Osteotomy, Trach, Surgery Site, Others, & Skin Care

Glow in the Dark (2)

Echocardiogram

Magenta (too many to count)

Emergency, Unusual Occurrence, Seizure, Emergency Transportation

Light Blue (too many to count)

Eye Exam, Eye Drops, mouth Care related to Treatment

Glass Star (20)

General Surgery

Brown and Face Bead (2)

Hair Loss, Hair Growth

Lime (several)

Isolation Precautions, Fever, Neutropenia

Purple (too many to count)

IV Infusions (One bead per day or initiation & Discontinuation)

White (too many to count)

Learning New Medications, Parent Education

Beige (too many to count)

Nutrition & Diet Transitions

Yellow (too many to count)

Overnight Stay in Hospital (one bead per day)

Black (too many to count)

Pokes, IV starts, blood draws, subq & IM injections, port access, suture placement.

Tortoise (too many to count)

Procedures include Cath lab, biopsy, LP, casting, scope, shunt tap, IR, wound care, EVD, joint injections, aspirations, and others.

Pink (too many to count)

Respiratory support, sedation, anesthesia, ventilator

Silver Star (14)

Suture Removal, Staple Removal

Light Green (too many to count)

Test, Scans, CT, MRI, X-Ray, EKG, EEG, PFT, PET, US, BE, UGI, Nucl. Meds, Others

Rainbow (250)

Therapy, support staff visits (PT, OT, SLP), Others

Red (5)

Transfusions, Blood products, Pheresis

Aqua (a bunch)

Tube, Catheter Placement & Removal, NG, NJ, G-tube, Chest Tube, Foley, Drain, Others

Papa Beads (too many to count)

He got this from his Papa’s private collection. These beads are SO precious to me.

Special Beads

Handmade Glass Selection (68)

Acts of Courage, Treatment-related Milestones

Square Heart (3)

Admission or Transfer to Intensive Care Unit

BOC Signature Heart (2)

Completion of Treatment, Transfer to Adult Services

Ceramic Special Selection (50)

Independent self or parent giving infusions or injections, Following medication schedule, Special accomplishment, Recognition of Personal or Family Accomplishment

Bumpy (52)

Medication Challenges, Taking, learning, self or parent giving infusion or injection, Mobility Challenges, lying flat, bed rest, crutches, splint, wheelchair, 1st walk after surgery, other.

Fish (60)

Transfer units or facilities, long-distance travel for care, “upstream battle.”

Transplant Glass Selection (24)

Transplant

Member’s Choice (15)

Discharge from hospital

Let it ALL Sink In

This child, who got sick on June 6, 2017, had WAY more procedures, pokes, traveling, transplants, and all than he has had in the last 2 years. This canvas is only the last 2 years of the 5 he has had since he has gotten sick.

Resiliency.

He is fantastic, brilliant, strong, capable, and able, and now he is HEALED. I never thought I would say that word concerning H, but here we are saying it loud and proud for all to hear. God is good. I didn’t think He was good. Honestly, I wondered if He even existed sometimes. Yet, I had warriors all around us that held up my arms and faithfully prayed for my son. They were my faith when I had none.

My Theme Verse

Romans 4:18-21 Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed…Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21 being fully persuaded that God had the power to do what he had promised.

Take that OMS!

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma

What is and is Not in My Control

Brandi C

What is and is Not in My Control

What is and is Not in My Control

What is and is Not in My Control. I am a work in progress. Without hesitation, I can tell you that trying to control everything is 99.9% of my problem. Well, that and lack of trusting anyone…maybe that goes hand in hand, I don’t know. It’s a problem. I know that, get it, and respect it. There is a problem, and I am it.

What is IN My Control

  • my self-care
    • I get my hair done
    • Massages
    • Tattoos
    • Alone time at night
    • Reading
  • asking for help
    • Reaching out to family
    • Communicating with my husband and being vulnerable
    • Therapy
  • my decision
  • the friends I have
    • I don’t do this one well
  • my actions
    • I have apologized to those I need to
    • Forgiven most people, I need to
    • The Lord has made me HYPER aware
  • my boundaries
    • Hahahahaha
  • my thoughts
    • Oohhh…
  • my attitude
    • Well…
  • my words
    • Uhmmm…
  • what I say
    • Learning how to use them
    • Learning how to RESTRAIN from using them
    • Work in progress

OUT of My Control

  • who likes me
  • past mistakes
  • other’s feelings
  • what others think
  • other’s apologizing to me
  • other’s actions
  • what other people believe
  • weather
  • who loves me
  • other people’s time
  • someone else’s distraction

What is on Your List?

My struggle in the “out of my control” list is who likes me (why does this bother me so badly), past mistakes (I can’t forget), what others think of me, others’ actions, what other people believe, and who loves me. Those are my Achilles heel problems. What is on your list?

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

The Dark Days

Brandi C

The Dark Days

In this piece, The Dark Days, my guest blogger describes what depression looks like for her.  Yet, she perseveres and powers on.

The Dark Days

I never know when they will come

Always lurking around the corner

Like a lion ready to pounce

They come without warning

When I wake, I feel it

The darkness closes in

And I welcome it

The darkness is familiar to me

Though it is full of sadness and hurt

Trauma and the like

Part 2

But I am not surprised

I know when the time has come

For another dark day to begin

Therapy helps

Medication helps

But the dark days are still around

Brought on by stress or pain

Or sometimes for no reason at all

Those days when all I want to do

Is lying in bed and hiding from the world

Part 3

I wonder what made me this way

Why do I have these dark days?

Sometimes I understand

Sometimes I don’t

I used to be told

You have everything

How can you have these dark days?

It’s all in your head

It isn’t real 

Then why do I feel this way?

Part 4

It’s not that I want to feel like this

I didn’t choose this life

I don’t choose the dark days

If I had to choose

I would choose light

Happy

Sunshine, rainbows

Sadly, they don’t come that often

Part 5

It isn’t my fault that I am this way

That the dark days chose me

I can’t help it

What I can do is try to mitigate the damage

Damage control 

I never know when the next dark day will come

But I can take my meds

I can go to therapy

I can talk to the few people I trust

Part 6

Maybe

Just maybe

The dark days will go away

I can hope

I can dream

But for now, the dark days are here

The dark days don’t define me

They are not who I am

I know who I am

I am confident in who I am

Part 7

But on those days, sometimes I forget

It is a talent those days have 

I don’t mean to forget, but sometimes I do

It’s like a fog over my mind

A dense, soupy fog

That distorts words

Distorts feelings

Emotions

And people 

Part 8

I have to be strong

{I} can’t let the bad days hold me

I can’t let myself down into that pit

The pit where I have spent many a night

The pit is where the darkness leads

The darkness can’t take me there

No more

No more

Part 9

So I will soldier on

Put on a brave face 

When the darkness comes 

Because the darkness can’t take me

Not now

Not ever

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Postpartum Depression and Suicide

Brandi C

 

Postpartum Depression and Suicide

Postpartum Depression and Suicide

Postpartum Depression and Suicide are real things. The girls’ first 14 months of life were traumatizing for me as their mom. They had several health issues such as Intrauterine Growth Restriction, Small For Gestational Age, Failure To Thrive, and many other things. On the day of my 30th birthday, things took a turn. The girls were seven months old. I hadn’t heard from hardly anyone that day. I felt everyone had forgotten this birthday—honestly, even my husband. I didn’t hear from him until NOON.

 

The Plan

 

That is when Postpartum Depression and Suicide collided. On the way home that day, from running some errands, I had hit my lowest point. I was going to end it. I had it all planned out. Then, there was a moment when I heard babble. It was one of my sweet girls reminding me they were still here. It was God reminding me that He wasn’t done with me yet.

 

Getting Help

 

The next day, I spoke to a friend, and she gave me the name of her therapist. I called her and began my therapy. Therapy taught me so much about myself. I learned that grief came in many forms and looked different for everyone. I learned that the grief from losing Grandaddy and the trauma from the girls had all added up. I was suffering from Postpartum Depression (PPD). I did not get any medication because therapy was enough for me. I began to deal with my grief and even issues from my childhood that had gone unresolved.

 

Unexpected Blessing

 

When the girls were 14 months old, I unexpectedly found out I was expecting again. We also got a diagnosis for our girls at this time (just before finding out about our pregnancy). I was so scared of PPD again, but I knew I could get through it. I did well. We had a healthy boy with no IUGR (though he did have a heart defect that resolved on its own by six months of age). I first felt him kick about 16 weeks into my pregnancy. Would you like to guess what was on the radio when this happened?

 

“Baby Blues”

 

I had a little of the “baby blues” with hormones balancing back out, but I did okay. We went on to have another unexpected pregnancy that took a turn for complications at 26 weeks and again at 31 weeks. I didn’t feel him kick until about 19 weeks into my pregnancy, which scared me. Grandaddy’s song came on the radio while I was driving down the road, and I felt it. This little kick reassured me. It was his favorite song to kick as well. I had been worried about it but was told I had an anterior placenta, so that could be normal. Our sweet baby was delivered and was, again, IUGR, and the diagnosis was missed.

 

Life Got Complicated

 

Things went on, and life got complicated for a while. After a few months, I messaged my OB and my old therapist and told them I was NOT okay. My old therapist said that meds might be a good idea. My OB called me with a prescription. I also started the process to begin therapy again (and then COVID happened and put a wrench in THAT!).

 

Looking Back

 

It has been four years since that day when I thought it was all over. Two more babies have been born with our youngest, over a year old. I still think about Grandaddy every day. All of my babies know who he is and can identify him in pictures. They talk about him when they ask questions. My girls have discovered grapefruit, and one likes it. I told her that Grandaddy also loved it, so she brags about that. In so many things, I see him. I know he has truly been watching over us.

 

All Four of my Kids Still Love that Song

 

They will dance and “sing” to it. Life isn’t perfect, but I have weaned off of my anti-depressant now. Every day isn’t great, as our girls are special needs and require more care. Two days before my 34th birthday, I ended my relationship with my narcissistic mom. My 34th birthday came and went with no drama. That day was filled with peace.

 

  1. AM. A. SURVIVOR.

 

PPD and other postpartum-related illnesses affect so many. The day I turned 30, I didn’t know I was struggling with it, but I did see that I couldn’t go on. There is treatment available, and there is help. The help that will not judge you and the assistance that will support you and help you through. Please, please know that you are not alone and you are not at fault. You are strong, and you are a warrior. You can do this, and you can survive. I have battle scars, but I have fought hard, and they show that. Those scars show the fight. They remind me where I have been and that God is not done with me yet.

Resources

Postpartum HelpLine 800.944.4773

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Choices that I Made

Brandi C

Choices that I Made

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7  The Lord chose me and His choices are for me to live!

Life-Changing Events

Being a young parent is hard. Tremendously hard. It changes you when you have complicated pregnancies and one delivery that almost loses your child. The lack of communication, dealing with undiagnosed (and untreated) mental illness (depression and anxiety), and money were some of the problems. Well, that can wreak havoc on a marriage. Other things that happened were utterly life-changing. My children and I almost died. That was the moment when I lost myself.

Choices that I Made

Because of the events that changed three beautiful kids and me forever, I left a good husband. He did nothing but try to be the best husband. Honestly, I think he believed that if he just loved me enough, all my past anxiety and depression would go away. Unfortunately, it didn’t.

Just Keeping Swimming

A failed marriage, a dead-end relationship, and then an abusive marriage is what happened in the blink of an eye. That relationship and abusive marriage are things I should never have been in in the first place. The abusive marriage caused me to be in a very dark place.

I tried to keep on, but I was treading water, barely keeping my eyes above the waves. Sadly, I went through the motions of life, but I wasn’t there anymore. A terrible accident occurred, and I have not recovered from that. Medical issues and so much more that I cannot even list. It was just hit after hit. Day after day. Minute after minute.

What I Didn’t See

Nothing I did that was good enough for him. He cheated all the time. Lied. He abused me mentally, emotionally, and so much more. He tried to separate me from the people I loved most. So I tried to take my own life. I didn’t feel worthy. I thought that everyone would be better off without me. My kids and family were isolated from me because of my abusive husband. I didn’t want to live anymore.

But God

By the grace of God, I lived. My family never left me. They gave me the strength to leave him and move forward. I learned how to live independently, seeking no one’s approval. This time, as an adult, I sought help and continued to stay in therapy. Sadly, I have had a couple of relapses. However, my family rallied around me this time, and I was not alone.

Today

I am happy to say that I am alive, happily married again, and I have a great support system. I feel I am a much stronger person now. The man I am married to is good for me and loves me. Now, I have a bonus daughter to add to my crew. I am loved.

My Advice to You

There have been choices that I have made that were very bad. Honestly, I regret it to this day. If I could take it all back and have a do-over, I would in a heartbeat. Sadly, I can’t. So all I can do is learn from them. I have done that and moved on. I’ve also known that it’s okay to have bad days. There are days when you want to curl up in a bed and cry all day. Maybe eat a gallon of ice cream.

Just don’t stay there.

You are not that person anymore.

Resources

If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

ChildHelp Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Struggling with Depression and Anxiety at a Young Age

Brandi C

Struggling with Depression and Anxiety at a Young Age

Struggling with Depression and Anxiety at a Young Age

I have struggled with Depression and Anxiety a Young Age since I was young. My parents divorced when I was two and a half years old. Then both parents remarried. My mom had two other daughters with my stepfather. He was mentally and physically abusive to my mother, sisters, and me. I never knew my birth father. He had remarried and lived somewhere else. I didn’t have any contact with him. Never did I know the truth until later.

The Truth Comes Out

I didn’t know he was my stepfather until I was 8. When I found out, I cried because I was confused. I remember seeing my real dad on visitation right after he and my stepmom married. That was when I was four, and that was the last time I saw him until I was 14. No one ever talked about my real dad. Then, one day, I asked my stepdad about the man who kidnapped me. That was the story my mom always told me. My stepfather, however, wanted to tell me the truth that he was not my real dad. He tried to tell me that the man I was told kidnapped me was my biological father.

Seeking Approval

At such an early age, I was always seeking my mother’s approval. I guess I did this because she never was around. Since she was never around, I was taking care of my sisters. Someone had to be the mother after her second divorce. Sadly, I was molested by one of my mother’s boyfriends when I was 12. When I was 13, my mother left my sisters and me. There was no reason, no goodbye, nothing.

Life After She Left

I lived with family members until they didn’t want me. Then I ended up living with my best friend and her mom. Finally, at age 15, my birth father contacted me, and I went to live with him and his family. The transition was tough because I had never really had a family before. That transition took a lot of getting used to for me. Having a stepmother, not knowing how to deal with her or what to expect from her. My birth mother was not a mother at all.

I Missed My Sisters

My sisters were living with other family members. I had to get used to having a father who didn’t physically abuse me. He was trying to be a father to me, which I was not used to having. Furthermore, I was learning how to cope with my anxiety and depression by myself. Sure my stepmother got me into therapy as soon as I moved here. Sadly, I didn’t know how to apply it to myself to help me. I was 15 years old and still hurt by my mother abandoning my sisters and me. She didn’t feel like being a mother anymore. I didn’t see my sisters again until I was 19 years old.

Still Seeking Approval

I tried too hard to have a relationship with my stepmother. It was next to impossible to have one with her. She was challenging to get along with, but I still tried. I married my high school sweetheart right out of high school. We started dating when I was 16, and he was 15, soon to be 16. He was my best friend. Still, I struggled so badly with my anxiety and depression. Our marriage had some pretty rough patches that changed me forever.

Resources

If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

ChildHelp Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Related Posts

Be Kind

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Suicide Sprinkled Throughout My Life

Brandi C

Suicide Sprinkled Throughout My Life

Suicide Sprinkled Throughout My Life

Suicide has been a thread woven through my life, though I didn’t fully understand it until I was older. As a child, I saw sadness and knew that people had passed away, but the gravity of it escaped me. The word itself was foreign to me until I was about ten years old. Even then, it wasn’t until I was fourteen and experienced my grandfather’s passing that I began to comprehend the depth of loss and what death truly meant.

Sharing Stories, Spreading Awareness

Throughout this month, in honor of Suicide Prevention Awareness, I have shared stories from people I know and love—people who have allowed me to be part of the chapter God is writing in their lives. Writing and sharing these stories has not been easy, but I know that their pain has purpose. Their words may be the light that someone else needs to seek help. Healing is found on the other side of brokenness, and their courage in sharing their journey could be the very thing that saves another person.

The Weight of Heartache

Hearing these stories and knowing what these people have endured breaks my heart. I long for Jesus to return and erase the pain, the hurt, the abuse. He will come, like a thief in the night, not when I wish but in His perfect timing. I rest in the promise that He can bring good from even the most tragic circumstances. Though He does not ordain suffering, He allows it, and He will use it for His glory.

My First Encounter with Suicide

I was about ten years old when I first brushed up against the concept of suicide. A young man, a friend of our family, loved riding horses. One day, I had been thrown off our pony—a creature no bigger than a large dog—and lay on the ground, terrified and breathless. He watched from the sidelines, his leg encased in a cast up to his thigh.

Rather than standing idly by, he tossed aside his crutches, mounted the horse with ease, and calmed her down. Then, he turned to me with a look of determination and told me to get back on. I was hesitant, but he wouldn’t let me walk away in fear. With his encouragement, I got back on that horse, and from that moment, I was no longer afraid.

Then, one day, he was gone. Whispers filled the air. Quiet conversations. Crying. I didn’t understand what had happened. No one spoke openly about it, but the silence was deafening. Now, looking back, I know the truth. He had taken his own life.

Another Loss, Another Whisper

Not long after, another family friend was suddenly absent. Again, hushed whispers, tears, and a heavy sadness hung over those I loved. The word ‘suicide’ was still never spoken, but now, as an adult, I recognize what it was.

A Decade Later, A Shattering Loss

Years later, I lost another dear friend. This time, I was old enough to understand. He was loved by so many, incredibly talented, and his passing shook me to my core. The pain of suicide is unnatural and unbearable. Parents should never have to bury their child, no matter their age, and yet, so many do. The grief and unanswered questions linger forever.

When It Hits Close to Home

One of my closest friends, whom I met through a Christian group, has fought battles that few could understand. She has struggled with feelings of worthlessness and despair, but through God’s grace, she is still here. I thank the Lord every day that her attempts were not successful—He knew she was needed, loved, and still had a purpose.

Sadly, she was not the only one in her family to face this darkness. I remember the day she messaged me, telling me her sister had died by suicide. The pain in her words still echoes in my heart. She continues to light candles in her sister’s memory and speaks out about suicide awareness, hoping to spare another family from enduring the same devastation.

Breaking the Cycle

The hole left by suicide never fully heals. It is a generational curse that can be broken, but it takes action. If you are struggling, please seek help. Talk to someone. Start therapy. Consider medication. Reach out to a friend. You are not alone. You are loved.

Your life matters, and there is hope.

Please, if you or someone you love is struggling, don’t wait. There is help available. Reach out today. You are worth it.

 Related Posts

Let Them by Cassie Phillips

 

Circle of Hope Counseling Services, End the Stigma, Guest Blogger, Suicide Awareness and Prevention

My Life is Hard

Brandi C

My Life is Hard

As you can see, mental illness can affect every ounce of your life. Thoughts come and go like the ocean’s tides, yet she remains steadfast. She is trying and reaching out. Though some days, all appears well with her, in her mind, they are not. Please show grace and kindness to all you meet. You do not know the battles they face.

My Life is Hard

It is a struggle for me on most days to get out of bed. To remember to make myself take my pills that are supposed to help the chemical imbalance in my brain. Aka makes me happier and more “normal.” Sometimes I feel like they work; other times, I feel like my old self. I let the thoughts I thought were gone back in. Once they are in, I can’t get them out. I think about things I’ve done and how I liked the feeling. But then I think about the people I know who would be disappointed in me if I chose that path again.

So I sit and contemplate, should I or not? I liked the pain and the feeling of getting it out in a way only I could feel. I mean, I wasn’t hurting anyone else, was I? But no, I made a promise, so I chose to sit in silence. I decide to do nothing but sit and stare into the emptiness inside me. Most days, I try to fill the hole with anything it holds. I try to keep my mind occupied to keep away the thoughts of suicide.

Some Days

But then there are days when everything seems alright, the pain is still there, but it’s not so debilitating. These days life is not so bad I have the energy I can talk and reciprocate the feeling and put effort into conversating. I can express the things on my mind and try to tell them I’m not okay and need some help and not just for the day. These days I’m motivated, by my commitments, to my job, or to do anything involving another person. These are the days that I see my people the most. I try to explain where I’ve been and why I’ve been so distant, but they know they’ve been there with me. The days that I am okay are the days that I feel loved, and those are the days I return the love.

Few and Far Between

The good days used to be far and in between, the bad days now that’s where I lived. But now, my days are starting to turn around. I’m not going to lie; they’re about 50% good and 50% bad. I’m not where I want to be, but I’m farther than I thought I’d be. I know ill never be 100% good no one ever is. But I would like the good to be more than the bad for one day.

My Goal

I know the only way to achieve my goal is to work on myself and be honest with myself. I need to be more aware of my feelings and keep myself on the right path. I’ve got to decide to make an effort to get better. And I have; I take my medication when I’m supposed to, and I tell the doctor when I feel like I need something new. I’m trying to go to counseling for the first time. I am honest, and I try to get my feeling across. I am trying.

For me, the thing that’s helped me is the bond between the people I consider to be my support system. They aren’t afraid to tell me how it is and push me to do what I know I should do but am too scared to do. My support people love me because they can, not because they feel obligated to love me. They choose to care about my life, listen to me without making me feel guilty, and help and advise when they feel like they can.

Reaching Out

The one thing that’s helped me the most is finding people that share the same thoughts. It’s easier for me to open up to someone that I know has been in a similar situation or the same mental disorder. We can share our feelings and know that we aren’t alone. We can talk about the bad days and not worry about the looks we will get. Because we both share the same struggles, we can help each other through them. We can talk to each other without getting offended.

Thoughts on Mental Disorder

When you have a mental disorder, taking responsibility for your actions is hard, so having that support group, friends, and sometimes family makes it easier when they can help remind you. You may have a more challenging time making the right decision because of the disorder, but you are the one that makes that decision. Because for the longest time, I blamed everything on everyone, and then I blamed everything on my mental disorder. But now that I’m stable, I can see everything is up to me. I chose what to do and when to do it, so I’m trying to make a better effort.

I am a Work in Progress

My life is hard, but at least I try. I’m no longer sitting in the dark contemplating my life. I may not be all sunshine and rainbows, but at least I now can smile. I now hate myself a little less, and I admit I am a work in progress. I’ll always struggle with this depression and my mental disorder. It will always be harder for me than most, but now I am fighting for my life. I want to live and love. To grow into the person, I was meant to be. I want to use my struggles to help others, but most importantly, I want to be free. Free of shame, free of guilt, and free of hate for myself.

Resources

If you or someone you know is being abused, PLEASE reach out.

ChildHelp Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Suicide Prevention Lifeline